Feedback vs. Failure
Posted on Feb 09 2007 | Tagged as: Tip Archives
Quote of the Week
“You always pass failure on the way to success.”
–Mickey Rooney
Feedback vs. Failure
by Steve Straus
Nobody likes to fail; it feels yucky.
Failure is the reaction you have when something doesn’t turn out the way you wanted or expected it to. Notice the word “reaction” in that sentence. Failure is not about the thing, it’s about your reaction to the thing.
Failure is a judging of events and/or yourself. “I failed to…” has a downer context. It’s not about wishing or hoping things had turned out a different way — although those may be in the mix also — it’s primarily about feeling less-than.
You can deal with the same events in a different way. You can treat everything as feedback. “I did this and that happened.” No judging, only learning. If what you do gives you the results you want, do more of it. If not, do less.
Staying in the question “what really happened here?” leaves you open to get feedback.
Feedback teaches. Feedback grows.
Experiencing the world as a sequence of potential failures is draining and diminishing.
Coaching Point: It’s not easy to give up a lifetime of seeing failures. What can you do so that the next “failure” you have you see through the lens of “feedback?”
Copyright 2007 Steve Straus. All rights reserved. Steve Straus can be contacted at http://www.StrausUSA.com
Coaching Call to Action
I am in the process of doing things differently in my day to day life. I am being less structured in my approach and am “integrating” all my roles into one. Here is the image: I used to wear a lot of different hats. I am now weaving a new hat that incorporates all the different hats. To me this means really listening to what pulls me forward and gives me energy and what drains me at any given time. It is an experiment. Throughout the experiment, I keep checking in to see what feels right and what has me feeling out of sorts. Will this experiment be a success? I don’t know. Am I willing to keep at it? You bet! And I know whether I “succeed” or “fail”, I will learn from it. And that learning will allow me to continue to grow and weave an even more authentic hat.
What are you doing in your life this week that has you stretching and trying new things? And how are you assessing yourself during the process? Are you open to feedback?
Community Involvement
Thank you for particiapting in a Morning of Coaching in Celebration of International Coaching Week
It was a pleasure to talk to so many of you on Wednesday morning as part of The Ninth Annual International Coaching Week (February 4 – 10, 2007). Thank you for calling in, sharing and being open to new ways of seeing your situation.
Ideas and Information
Samaritans Have A Heart Auction, February 2007
A colleague of mine shared this with me and I wanted to pass it along for you to consider:
“When I lost my brother to suicide 7 1/2 years ago, The Samaritans were near and dear to my heart – they were there for survivor counseling for me after the funeral and through an extended grieving process. I only wish that my brother would have called this organization before taking his life. Who knows…maybe he would be here today.”
If you have anything you would like to donate to this organization’s auction, it would help them find funding for furthering their suicide prevention and education causes. To contact The Samaritans directly: rhurtig@samaritanshope.org or http://www.samaritanshope.org or click here.
Other articles you might be interested in:
- How Did That Happen? vs. HOWDIDTHATHAPPEN!!?
- Using Failure to Further Your Future
- Keys to Effective Feedback
- Giving Effective Performance Feedback
- PRINCIPLE: Receive
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