The Wobbliness of Maybe

Posted on May 08 2009 | Tagged as: Tip of the Week

Quote of the Week

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes¦ but no plans.” Peter Drucker

The Wobbliness of Maybe
By Michael Neill

I was speaking with my new coach, Steve Hardison when he pointed out that one of the reasons I was finding myself a bit overwhelmed (besides the UK book tour, writing deadlines, training schedule and family commitments, which had seemed to me to be the source of the problem  was that I had a lot of “maybe” in my life. Having explored that notion for the past week or so, here’s what I’ve come to:

· A solid “no” creates space in your life.
· A solid “yes” provides the foundation for creation.
· There is no such thing as a solid “maybe”.

When I tell a person, a project or even myself “no” (and mean it), that possibility is now gone from my day planner and gone from my mind. What is there in its place is space – the glorious, open space that makes up the blank canvas of a consciously created life.

When I tell a person, a project or even myself “yes” (and mean it), I have created a platform from which to create – a place to stand that will enable me to reach higher and go further than I could have done before. Once I’ve said “yes”, the language of my mind changes from “if” to “when” and from “why?” to “how?”

When I tell a person, a project or even myself “maybe” (usually in the disguise of a wobbly “yes” or “no”), nothing much happens on the outside. But on the inside, the white space in my planner turns grey and the pictures in my mind flick back and forth between possibilities in a redundant and repetitive pattern. Because I have created nothing solid in my mind, it is extremely difficult to create anything solid out in the world.

What has been most intriguing so far in my explorations is contemplating what it might be like to live in a world without “maybe” – that is, a world where the answer to any request was either “yes” or “no”, and the freedom to revise and revisit each request was always present. That contemplation is the source of today’s experiment¦

Today’s Experiment:

1. Divide a piece of paper into three columns. In the left hand column, make a list of a few things that are “no-brainer yes’s” in your life.

Examples:

· Being there for your family
· Showing up at work
· Brushing your teeth

2. In the right hand column, make a list of some “no- brainer no’s”.

Examples:

· Giving away all your money to a cause you oppose
· Selling your children
· Eating cake until you vomit

3. Use the central column to make a list of your “maybe’s” – those things you haven’t yet decided for sure whether or not you’re going to do them.

Examples:

· Going on a training or an exotic holiday
· Changing jobs or partners
· Committing to a new exercise routine or weight loss goal

4. Now, clean up the “maybe” list – move everything in it into the space of “yes” or the space of “no”.

Remember, some of those “yes” and “no” answers may just be for now, not for life – but by holding them in the space of a solid “yes” or “no”, you might just find yourself with more clarity, more time, and more freedom than you’ve felt in a long time.

Copyright (c) 2009 Michael Neill, author of ˜You Can Have What Your Want’. All rights reserved – read more tips at http://www.geniuscatalyst.com

Coaching Call to Action

I just did Michael’s experiment and 2 out of 3 items got moved from my “maybe” to my “yes” list. He’s right. Doing this process does give you the energy to focus on the items you are choosing. For me it stopped that constant back in forth in my head, “Should I, shouldn’t I, should I, shouldn’t I?”.

By making the decision for now and letting go of the chatter – it was uplifting. What will you move out of your maybe column this week?

Community Involvement

May 8, 2009
Warm Welcome to NEMRA Program Attendees for Changing Your Thinking

A warm welcome to our new Coaching Tip of the Week subscribers who colleague, Cheryl Dolan, and I met at the New England Marketing Research Association’s (NEMRA) annual day-long conference on April 29th during our program “Business as Unusual…Change Your Thinking, Change Your Bottom Line”. We enjoyed sharing tools for creating new ideas to impact the bottom line in your business.

May 16, 2009
ICFNE Presidents Panel: Collaboration – A Creative Alternative

I will be presenting at the ICFNE conference this year with three of my colleagues: Cheryl Dolan, Monica Brunaccine and Bill Sex. We will be creating an experiential laboratory, where anything is possible. Join these four “Heroes” as they entice your creative juices, challenge your thinking, and lead you to “step it up.”

Learn how this team has created an intimate, productive, and engaging environment in a totally safe space. Because it is fun and energizing, a common sense of connection has been forged allowing them to uncover unique ways of solving problems, develop creative alternatives, and look at challenges in very different ways.

Discover their secrets in this very interactive session. To learn more about this year’s conference and/or to register to attend, visit www.icfne.org

Ideas and Information

Personal Branding

If you are currently employed, out of work or running your own business, the key to success and achieving your goals is to differentiate yourself. You can do this by learning how to identify and communicate your personal brand.

Personal Branding is very powerful because it sends a clear, consistent message about who you are and what you have to offer. A strong, authentic Personal Brand helps you become known for what you’re good at, sets you apart from everyone else, and can position you as a niche expert.

Coaching colleague, Randi Bussin, is offering a free one hour webinar workshop where you’ll learn how to identify and communicate your personal brand. To register, visit: www.aspireforsuccess.com

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One Response to “The Wobbliness of Maybe”

  1. on 08 May 2009 at 12:10 pm Peter Ericson said …

    That is dang good advice… I would argue that saying no is the big challenge. My weakness is I am interested in everything and sometimes I get sidetracked down a good project and I should be sticking to the GREAT projects.

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