Coach Andrea’s Intro

Like Michael Neill, as a coach, I am expected to ask “great” questions that facilitate “aha” moments when you are able to “see something about yourself, your work, or your life in a whole new way”.  Early in my coaching career, I had a list of these great questions in a notebook in front of me for my coaching calls.  I busily scanned them during the call so that I would be ready with the one that would make the difference and create a shift for my client.  I was more present to my list, worrying about which one was right, than listening to my client.  After 13 years of coaching I find that listening, being present and trusting myself are the keys to providing the question my client most needs to shift their thinking.

Michael Neill’s article provides some ideas on how to prepare for “insights” on your own.

Quote of the Week

“During [these] periods of relaxation after concentrated intellectual activity, the intuitive mind seems to take over and can produce the sudden clarifying insights which give so much joy and delight.”
~ Fritjof Capra

Chasing Butterflies

by Michael Neill

A couple of years ago, my family and I visited the Boston Science museum and spent some time in their wonderful butterfly garden.  While there is much to see and do inside, the highlight of the visit is the chance to have a butterfly land on your hand, head, or shoulder.

What made the visit fascinating was noticing the different strategies people employed in an attempt to get the butterflies to land on them.  Some people would chase the butterflies around the garden, perhaps in hopes of catching one and placing it on their shoulder long enough for a picture to be snapped and a memory to be created.  Others seemed to be determined to get through the garden as pure observers, without ever having to touch or be touched by what it was they were observing.

The most successful group by far were those who did their best to become a part of the environment – that is, to stand relatively still in and amongst the flowers and enjoy the beauty all around them while waiting for a butterfly to grace them with a landing.

The nature of the transformative coaching work that I do is based on facilitating insights – those wonderful “aha” moments when you are able to see something about yourself, your work, or your life in a whole new way.  People often call these “light bulb moments”, because we see things in a new light that allows us to handle them with greater ease and grace than we could even moments before.

These are the insights which let us see straight through our problems until suddenly, we know what to do and our next action becomes crystal clear. Metaphorically, they’re the moments where the “snake” becomes a piece of rope and the “Wicked Witch of the West” goes back to just being an annoying neighbor named Almira Gulch.

In the years I’ve been doing this work, I’ve noticed that insights are a lot like butterflies -  while there are things you can do to make them more or less likely, it’s ultimately not up to us when they land.

  • If you try to chase them through meditations, exercises, brainstorming, and other forms of “figuring it all out”, the activity in your head seems as likely to scare them away as draw them near.
  • If you try to ignore your own wisdom and only learn through books, teachers, and other forms of other people’s insight, you are very likely to succeed – at confusing yourself in a myriad of conflicting ideas about what it “really” takes to be happy and successful.
  • If you are willing to simply enjoy spending time “in the garden” – the quiet, reflective state of mind that occurs naturally for most of us while standing in the shower, watching the sunset, or lying in bed on a weekend morning, insights will often show up and land with a grace that takes us straight into a quiet knowing and a deeper feeling.

Sometimes it’s hard not to chase after a butterfly, especially when the answers you’re seeking seem to always be just out of reach.  But as Franz Kafka said, no doubt in a moment of quiet contemplation:

    “You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do mot even wait, be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice. It will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”

Copyright 2010 Michael Neill, author of ‘You Can Have What You Want’. All rights reserved – read more tips at http://www.geniuscatalyst.com.

Coaching Call to Action

This week take note of what activities (or non-activities) bring forth insights for you.

Other articles you might be interested in:

  1. The Fastest Way to a Quiet Mind
  2. Your Most Enjoyable Year Yet!
  3. Building a Coaching Business
  4. Weeds in Your Garden?
  5. If You Change the Way You Look at Things, the Things You Look at Change.

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