by Chris Widener,

As I have worked with people over the years I have seen an amazing thing. People often get frustrated because they aren’t achieving “success.” There are lots of possible reasons for this but one reason I have found that sticks out is that many people allow their definition of “success” to be driven by someone or something else.

Instead, we ought to be looking at our own skills, opportunities, life situations, etc. to determine what it would mean for us to be a success in our own mind rather than someone else’s.

Thus, the key to “success” is all in the head – our head! We develop our own thinking about what it will mean to become a success.

The frustration comes in when we look at what someone else thinks is a success and try to attain it, only to find it elusive.

For one person, being a success may mean to make $100,000 a year. For another it may be $250,000. Another may not be concerned with the yearly income but be more concerned with a net worth.

Still another may not be motivated by money and may consider himself a success by how many street kids he gets pointed in the right direction and into a productive life.

Now the temptation would be for the person working with street kids to think they aren’t a “success” because they don’t make much money. The temptation for the person making $100,000 may be to think they aren’t a “success” until they make $250,000. And the temptation for the person making $250,000 may very well be to think they aren’t a “success” because they aren’t helping street kids! And round and round it goes when we are gauging ourselves by another’s measure of success.

So my advice is this: Here is the truth. Being a success is doing your best, not being the best.

When we get to that point, we will experience a lot more joy and a lot less frustration. That sounds good to me!

Chris Widener is the Co-Founder of Made for Success, www.MadeForSuccess.net, a wealth of ongoing motivation and leadership skills training.