Brought to you by Andrea Novakowski, Master Certified
Coach, Business and Personal Coaching for
Corporations, Businesses and Individuals
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
the possibility of doubting, the possibility of making a
mistake, the possibility of searching and experimenting,
the possibility of saying 'No' to any authority -- literary,
artistic, philosophic, religious, social and even
One of the shortest and simplest words in English
causes even the most confident people stress. Most
people shrink from saying no because they would rather
sacrifice their time, energy and money than cause
conflict or awkwardness, or experience feelings of
Learning to say no takes practice and patience
and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone.
1. Develop a new respect for
Revisit your personal boundaries and
honor your commitments to yourself. Once you begin
to respect yourself fully, others around you will find it
easy to respect you.
2. Get your priorities
What's most important to you? Write
it down. Keep a copy with you at all times. Once you
know what it is you want for yourself, it will be easier
to stop agreeing to things that will get in the
3. Take responsibility for
When you realize that only you are
responsible for yourself and for the tasks you take on,
you'll get that saying yes to things you really want to
say no to is just a way of deferring making your own
4. Assert your right to ask for
clarification or more information.
This will buy
you time and allow you to weigh your options and your
priorities. It will also make it clear to the other person
that you're not agreeing to their request straight
5. Stop being invested in being
If you say yes so that you can be
the "nice guy," then the chances are you'll follow
through half-heartedly and this won't go down well with
the person who asked you -- and you won't feel good
about yourself either.
6. Remember that you
do not have to say yes.
You have the right to
say no without giving a reason for your
7. Sandwich your
Start your answer by offering a
positive comment to the person, followed by your
decline, followed by a suggestion for an alternative.
Example: Your boss asks you to take on an additional
piece of work which you do not have time for: "That
sounds like an interesting project, unfortunately at the
moment the sales pitch is taking up all of my time. You
know, Mary might appreciate the chance to lead the
8. Get that saying no does not
reject the person, it simply refuses the
9. Be assertive.
give a long explanation and don't apologize for
yourself, "I'm sorry, but . . . "
Say no in the mirror, role play
situations with your partner/friends/family and practice
in real life, starting with smaller things and working your
way up to saying no in more difficult situations.
Anisha Kaul, Coach, can be visited on the web at
Copyright 2000-2004 Coachville, Inc.
||COACHING CALL TO ACTION
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
As Anisha points out, that
isn't the only way to say no (even though it may feel
like what you want to do some days).
had me thinking of the flip side of the no equation that
so many of my clients talk to me about -- asking for
help. When you ask for help from a friend, family
member or colleague, you don't know how they will
respond. Many times we don't want to ask because
they may say no and you know what that means.
Stop. What are they saying no to? Your
request, not you -- see #8.
This week practice
saying no to those things that don't work for you or
practice asking for help and see what shift in
perspective you experience.
August 12, 2004
Pounce on a Project
Encore, encore! You asked for it, you've got it!
Come to "Pounce on a Project V." Here's what
participants are saying:
"Pounce on a Project had
me tackling my project head on. Completing it felt so
good! Once I started, the angst disappeared."
"I'm no longer putting off what I love to
-- Business Owner, TX
"I had to get all of
my marketing material organized and sent to my
advisor. Where was I going to find the time? Pounce
on a Project gave me 4 hours of uninterrupted time to
easily complete my plan!"
-- Business Owner,
"Pounce on Project enabled me to fulfill a long
time goal of mine, while energizing me to undertake
other projects that I had been putting off."
"The simple structure of commitment and
accountability had me easily complete my project."
- Business owner, England
"I learned I can use this
time to accomplish many small projects I've been
putting off. Hooray!"
-- Freelance writer, Boston
Did you know that incompletions and clutter can
drain your energy? As we are half way through the
summer season, are there projects or spaces you need
to "clean up" to fully move into this next season? In
preparation for our next get together, consider the
** What do I need to let go?
can I simplify?
** What needs to be done to get
** What needs to be stored for
Join Andrea on Thursday, August 12,
from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Eastern. We will join as a
group by phone and declare what you want to
accomplish: organizing your office, simplifying your filing
system, cleaning under your bed, finishing your website,
planning your pricing strategy for your new
During the morning, the group will gather
by phone a few times to check progress and get any
support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the
group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says
projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your
lightness and fun and join us for energization.
To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail Andrea by noon
on August 11, 2004. Space is limited. First come, first
served. Feel free to share this with friends and
coworkers. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long
distance phone calls.)
||ABOUT ANDREA NOVAKOWSKI
This Coaching Tip of the Week is brought to you by
Andrea Novakowski, Master Certified Coach who
provides Business and Personal Coaching to
Corporations, Businesses, and Individuals. Andrea is a
professional coach who partners with people to set
goals and create momentum to produce effective
results in their business and/or personal lives.
Andrea is available for individual coaching. If you are
serious about reaching your goals and living with
greater fulfillment and satisfaction, consider using a
coach. To schedule a COMPLIMENTARY initial
consultation, send an e-mail to Andrea at
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