by Nancy Birnbaum-Gerber

A predominant American characteristic -- shared by many other cultures in varying degrees -- is our drive to achieve, to "do". We are in action all the time. Some of us feel compelled to help those we love by trying to "fix" what we perceive as being "wrong" -- to make things all better and ease the pain. Others want their children to have the benefit of lots of options and experiences, and wind up on a super tight schedule in an attempt to ferry everyone to their various activities and involvements. The fuel that runs the business world is all about solving problems and piling up the accomplishments.

We're all so busy trying to figure out what to do that we're dismissing the value of who we are.

As mightily as we try, there are just some things -- mistakes, broken hearts, illness -- that we cannot mend. Because the attempt to fix offers the illusion of reducing our helplessness and frustration, we continue to spin our wheels. We lose the distinction between offering advice and guidance (doing) and showing our love and support (being). We forget that the most powerful action we can take is often to simply "stand with" another -- acknowledging their pain, hearing their regrets and fears, reminding them that there is hope and sunlight behind the clouds that will eventually shine again. Sometimes it's as simple as sharing a laugh or making their favorite dessert.

Others are equating "performance" of sports or other activities as "play", and families are sacrificing spontaneous, unplanned, unscheduled time which creates the sacred space where creativity and precious connection emerge.

Businesses are losing the wisdom and value of their elders when there is no room for unplanned conversation or exploration.

Copyright 2006 by Nancy Birmbaum-Gerber. All rights reserved. Used with permission. Nancy Gerber, Professional Certified Coach and President of Stepping Stones can be reached at http://www.sstones.com

• Who needs you to stand with them?
• How can you let go of performing and embrace playing -- just a little more?
• Where in your life can you create more balance between doing and being?

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