Coach Andrea

Coach Andrea’s Intro

Ever have one of those days when nothing seems to go right? You take one step forward and two steps back?  Even during those times when everything feels out of control, you can choose to be in control of one thing – your attitude.  Read this week’s Tip by Chris Widener with thoughts about choosing your attitude.

Quote of the Week

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

Your Attitude – You Choose!

By Chris Widener

There are lots of things in this life that we don’t get to choose. On the other hand, there are lots of thing in this life that we do get to choose. Our attitude is one of the things that we get to choose. Nobody else lives inside our brain. Nobody else controls what or how we think. It is up to us, moment by moment, to choose what our attitude is. It is up to us to determine how we will look at and perceive the world around us. It is up to us to decide how we will react to our world around us.

My advice? Choose a positive, optimistic attitude! Here are some thought on choosing your attitude.

We cannot choose our circumstances. For the most part, this is true. We cannot control if someone around us gets ill. We cannot control how another person will treat us. We cannot control the global economy. We cannot control the direction our society as a whole will go. For some, this may seem scary. For me, it is freeing. I don’t have to control my circumstances. Running the whole world would be a big responsibility. It is good to know that I am not in charge of, or in control of all of my circumstances. This dose of reality frees you to focus in on what you can control – your attitude.

We can choose our attitudes. That’s right. We get to choose what our attitudes are. Here is the definition of attitude: “The feeling or opinion about something or someone, or a way of behaving that follows from this.” We choose how we feel about others and situations. We choose our opinion about people and situations. We choose the way we will behave in relation to other people and circumstances. We choose it. It doesn’t have to be bad. It doesn’t have to be anything but what we want it to be. We have the option.

The choice of a right attitude will significantly determine new circumstances. Choosing to have the right attitude will change the world around you. This isn’t any sort of magic; it is just how the world works. Now, don’t get me wrong. It won’t cure everything and turn your world into a virtual Shangri-La, but it will significantly improve the world you live in. For example, let’s say that every day you go into work and you gripe about life and work from the moment you get there until the moment you leave. Will others want to be around you? Will others ask your opinion? Will others like you? Will others ask you to join them for lunch? Probably not! But what if you come to work every day and you are the positive optimist of the crowd? Will everybody love you? No, but significantly more people will than if you are the office pessimist! Your choice of attitude will determine what kind of circumstances you get!

Ultimately, it is our choice on what we have as an attitude. Nobody else can force you to have a bad attitude. Nobody else can force you to have a good attitude. It is simply a choice you make.

Where are you with your attitude? Do you have a good one? Why not sit down and give it some serious thought? Then, no matter where you find yourself, decide to take your attitude to the next level! If you have a really bad attitude, decide to take it up a couple of levels!

Your attitude. Your choice. Choose wisely.

Chris Widener is the President of Chris Widener International. www.ChrisWidener.com Chris can be reached at Chris@MadeForSuccess.com

Your Call To Action

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

What if you could access your courage at any time?  This week’s Tip by Angie Morgan and Courtney Lynch provides ideas to help you find your courage.

Quote of the Week

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”

Everyday Courage – How to Find It in an Instant

By Angie Morgan and Courtney Lynch

Somewhere – right now – someone is thinking one of the following:

How am I going to meet this sales number?

I need to address this issue, but I have no idea how to bring it up.

I have to change some work habits, but it’s going to be difficult to start a new routine.

This project isn’t going to complete itself – where will I find the time to get it done?

Courage is our ability to face our fears, concerns and worries.  There are moments in each of our lives when we need a healthy dose of everyday courage to address a goal or overcome an issue. The next time you feel overwhelmed by unproductive emotions, try these tips to help you find the courage you need to take action:

• Be honest with how you feel, especially when it is fear.  Courageous people certainly feel fear, but they aren’t paralyzed by it.
• Hold yourself accountable to your feelings.  Don’t shrug off your concerns and live in denial.
• Take action.  Small steps, over time, produce profound results.

We all need courage to lead the life that is consistent with our goals.

This article was provided courtesy of Lead Star – a premiere leadership development firm. You can learn more about leadership by visiting their website at www.leadstar.us

Coaching Call To Action

Where are you feeling stuck or overwhelmed in your work?  Take a minute to sit back in your chair, close your eyes and take a deep, cleansing breath.  Then, follow the steps above – acknowledge your feelings and identify 3 small steps you could take to move your project and yourself forward.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

In addition to celebrating their successes, each time I talk to my coaching clients, we look at potential obstacles that could be holding them back from reaching their goals. This week’s Tip highlights frequent stumbling blocks along with recommendations to overcome them.

Quote of the Week

“It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities.”

4 Things That Can Get in the Way of Your Professional Success

By Andrea Novakowski

Do you ever feel like something is keeping you from moving ahead in your business, but you can’t pinpoint exactly what it is? As I look back at conversations I’ve had with clients over the years, I see four common obstacles that tend to hold people back. Do any of these ring true for you?

1. You don’t move from theory to action. It may feel like you have to know it all before you can make your plans happen. I’m a mentor coach, someone who helps people start coaching businesses of their own. I’ve noticed that the people who make it in this business are the ones who jump right in while they’re still in the middle of their coursework. They don’t wait until they’re experts. They recognize that in order to become an expert, they need to start working. That way they can bring their experiences back to the classroom for feedback. You, too, will gain insight as you go along – so don’t put it off.
2. You do everything at the last minute. Sam was the kind of leader who created the agenda in his head as he walked into the meeting. As president of his company, he had a full plate and many business goals, and he’d surrounded himself with smart, competent people whom he liked to bring together for frequent discussions. But his crack team was constantly frustrated because Sam would call meetings on the spur of the moment without giving anyone time to prepare. As Sam’s coach, I helped show him how his team could be an even better resource to him if he gave them an agenda.
3. You react instead of responding. Carl is a night owl who likes to stay late in the office after everyone goes home – he does his best work during the quiet hours. But lately, Carl’s manager, Sally, has started poking her head into Carl’s office before she heads home. Then she sits down and starts talking, sometimes about work, sometimes not. She might stay for 10 minutes. She might stay for an hour. Arrgh! Needless to say, Carl is starting to get upset. What used to be his time isn’t any longer. I helped Carl by pointing out that he had options when Sally showed up for her nightly conversations. Instead of feeling like a hostage, he started using the talks as opportunities for one-on-one time with his manager. He became privy to information he didn’t have access to previously.
4. You blame everyone else. Lee’s projects kept getting delayed through no fault of her own. Meanwhile, at home, her kids were acting up and making her crazy. It seemed as though no one was pulling their weight but her. Lee had reached the point where she couldn’t see any way out of her situation except to quit her job and start all over again. Luckily, before that happened, I was able to sit down with her and examine what part she might have been playing in the project delays. We discussed ways for her to start building relationships and to overcome the feeling the deck was stacked against her. As things improved at her job, life at home got easier, too. Her family had been responding to the negative attitude she was bringing home. (Don’t you love how your kids pick up so easily on your feelings?)

We all spend a lot of time in our heads, analyzing our situations, traveling the same paths over and over. We make our stories so powerful that we can’t see the situation any other way.

If you’re feeling stuck, consider having a conversation with a coach, mentor, or trusted advisor. She may be able to offer new insights, expand your awareness, and help you overcome obstacles getting in the way of your success.

Coaching Call To Action

Where are you not making progress on your goals?  Take some time this week to share what’s happening with a trusted person.  Ask for their perspective on the situation (that is different than yours) and suggestions for moving forward.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

The topic of balance has been coming up in a number of recent coaching calls. Questions posed are:  Is there such a thing? How do I get more of it? As a business owner/CEO, don’t I get to design my day? This week’s Tip by Todd Duncan makes the assertion that you are never actually balanced.  Bummer!  Read below to find out why.

Quote of the Week

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

The Art of Purposeful Imbalance

By Todd Duncan

Famed tightrope walker Tino Wallenda and his family, the Flying Wallendas, have been walking on high wires without nets for nearly a century. When asked how he maintains balance on a wire with nothing but earth beneath him, Tino gently corrects the assumption: “The reality is that you are never actually balanced; you are constantly making small adjustments – moving back and forth – and it’s those constant movements that keep you on the wire. The truth is, if you stand still, you fall.”

The same is true of harmonizing our personal and professional worlds. You are never actually balanced, nor should you try to be. To ensure a more harmonious existence, you must keep yourself moving – carefully teetering and tottering between work and life activities. Like a tightrope walker, you must regularly make adjustments back and forth to keep standing. The key is being purposeful, having sound reasons for everything you do (Duncan, p. xi).

From: Duncan, T. (2010). Life on the wire: avoid burnout and succeed in work and life. Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu/

Coaching Call To Action

Are you being purposeful in your activities and focus?  What is your process for being purposeful?

What’s New?

Thursday, November 29, 2012 – 9 am to noon  EST
Pounce on a Project IV

You have two more months to complete the goals you created for 2012. What project would you like to get on top of and accomplish this month that will help you hit those goals? Come to Pounce on a Project IV – - 2012.

Join me on Thursday, November 29th, from 9:00 a.m. to noon Eastern. We will join as a group by phone and declare what you want to accomplish: marketing calls to hit your numbers, adding a shopping cart to your website, or cleaning your office so you can find the goals you created in January.

During the morning, the group will gather by phone a few times to check progress and get any support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your lightness and fun and join us for energy and focus.

To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail me by noon on Wednesday, November 28th. Feel free to share this with friends and co-workers, the more the merrier. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long distance phone calls.)

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Over my office desk is a bulletin board.  Until Sunday, when I did a little decluttering, it was overflowing with quotes, ideas, recommendations, and lists.  You get the picture.  While cleaning, I found the quote, “Start to evaluate the images coming in and if they aren’t going to send you toward your dreams, reject them, because they control your results.”  This is a great lead into this week’s Tip by Michael Neill about the impact of our thoughts.

Quote of the Week

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

The Problem with Courage

By Michael Neill

Last week I was speaking with a very successful new client when he asked me to share any insights I had into what might still be holding him back in his life. After a few moments of reflection, I told him that he was one of the bravest and most courageous men I had ever met – and while that was unquestionably a virtue in some areas, it was likely to be holding him back in others.

When he asked me what I meant, I shared the story of a conversation I had several years ago with a comedian (I’ll call him “Bob”) who was about to play his first 1000+ seat venue after years of dingy bars and nightclubs.  Bob phoned me for some intensive confidence coaching in the days leading up to the event, suggesting that we speak daily and if possible in the minutes before he went on stage for his “really big gig.”

I offered to save him some time by pointing out that he had been doing three shows a night for years without any special confidence coaching, and that the critical variable here was not the size of the audience but rather the size of his thought.

I asked him “If you didn’t think it was a ‘really big gig’, would you still need extra confidence to do it?”

Within about five minutes of further conversation, he realized that but for his thinking, he was going to be doing exactly what he’d been doing for years – stepping up to the microphone and telling jokes. In fact, it was because he already did that so well that he’d been invited to do the “really big gig” in the first place.

We arranged for him to call me if he felt the need, but I didn’t hear from him again until after the show, which went extremely well and wound up being the first of many.

After sharing this story, I pointed out to my client that the problem with courage is that when you find yourself faced with a seemingly frightening and overwhelming task, you’re inclined to plow blindly forward and take it on anyways, relying on your courage to win the battle or overcome the obstacle.

Now, if you never question your perception of the world and assume that things really are the way you see them, that sounds like a good thing.  But one of the insights many people have when they look more deeply into the nature of thought is the startlingly arbitrary nature of what we see as frightening and overwhelming.  

Personally, I can speak effortlessly in front of thousands of people and have been brought to tears in the face of a spreadsheet (despite the fact that it was filled with proof of the profitability of my company). And over the years, I’ve coached people who were carrying around debilitating fears of everything from jello to spiders and from running out of breath mints to running out of money.

So someone with less courage but a deeper understanding of the nature of thought might be inclined to take a step back from their fear and overwhelm and open up to some fresh new thinking about their situation. They might discover that there were less battles to be fought than they had originally anticipated and recognize that you don’t have to put on a suit of armor to walk into an arena filled with allies.

When your thoughts start looking a little bit less real, the stress and fear and overwhelm those thoughts produce lessens. And when you take a fresh look at your life, you invariably see that things are not as bad as they looked at first glance. Even on those rare occasions when they are, the clarity of your perspective grants you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage (yes, courage) to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

One last story. I was sharing this understanding with a student who was concerned that it might lead them to become insensitive to the pain and suffering of others. “After all,” the student said with great sincerity, “if I think that their suffering is just a result of their thinking, I might not be so inclined to help them. I don’t know about you,” the student continued, “but if I come across someone with a broken leg I’m going to set the bone before I start speaking to them about the nature of thought.”

“So would I,” I responded.  “But since I began to understand that our feelings come from our thinking and not our circumstances, I’ve noticed that a lot less people have broken legs than I originally thought.”

Copyright 2012 Michael Neill, author of Supercoach: 10 Secrets to Transform Anyone’s Life.  All rights reserved – Read more tips at www.Supercoach.com.

Coaching Call To Action

This week really listen to and become aware of your thoughts.  Are they helping you move forward or are they holding you back?  Do you need to open yourself to some new thinking?  What steps will you take to change the thoughts that don’t serve you?

What’s New?

New Service (Tip Tidbits) Gets Rave Reviews

Two weeks ago we started sharing related articles on the prior week’s coaching Tip topic on Facebook and Twitter.  They appear on the four business days (Monday through Thursday)  after the Tip.  Thank you so much for your great feedback!  Follow me on Facebook and Twitter so you don’t miss out!  Click the icons on the left sidebar near the top of this page.

Thursday, October 18, 2012 – 9 am to noon EDT
Pounce on a Project III

We’re entering the last quarter of 2012. Have you set up your top three priorities for Q4?  Want to get a jump start on them?  Come to Pounce on a Project III – - 2012.

Join me on Thursday, October 18th, from 9:00 a.m. to noon Eastern. We will join as a group by phone and declare what you want to accomplish: working on your marketing plan for Q4, writing the white paper you promised to get done in October, or cleaning out your space so you can get to your projects.

During the morning, the group will gather by phone a few times to check progress and get any support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your lightness and fun and join us for energy and focus.

To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail me by noon on Wednesday, October 17th. Feel free to share this with friends and co-workers, the more the merrier. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long distance phone calls.)

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

In this week’s Tip, Kathy Frank asks a great question: How do we sense, read or interpret the invisible, but powerful, forces that pummel us each day of our lives? The question reminded me to think about how each of us is a force through our actions, words, and thoughts.

Quote of the Week

“Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”

An Invisible, But Powerful, Force

By Kathy Frank

Last year I was watching the final round of the British Open being played at Royal St. George’s Golf Club. The club sits on the southeast coast of England near the cliffs of Dover. That day the wind was howling off the English Channel at about 30mph. One of the commentators said that the wind was an invisible, but powerful, force that would have a tremendous impact on the outcome of the golf tournament that day.

The phrase about an invisible, but powerful, force stuck in my mind as I began thinking about the many such forces that we encounter in our lives every day. At least with the wind, while we may not see it, we can feel it through the broad sense of touch. How do we sense, read or interpret the invisible, but powerful, forces that pummel us each day of our lives?

Each of us is constantly thinking … sometimes consciously and, frequently, subconsciously. These thoughts are invisible to others until we express them or act on them; but they certainly have powerful influence on our lives and often on the lives of others. Even then, our ability to capture and accurately articulate our thoughts is not always on point. When we express our thoughts through our actions, it may be an even murkier message for our fellow human beings to understand and interpret.

So too, the spoken word is invisible but can exert great power as the expression of our thoughts about ideas, events or people. In the complex make-up of human beings, there are many other powerful, but invisible, forces such as emotions, motivations, biases and viewpoints which we may not even be conscious of because they have been ingrained in us since childhood and have become part of our “unexamined life.”

Just as the golfers had to read the invisible, but powerful wind and adjust their play to it in order to succeed in the tournament, so too must we read the many invisible, but powerful, forces that come at us daily to succeed in our human relationships. This is the challenge of human communication and understanding! It is the thrill we get from great literature or even good books which, in communicating a story, give us some insight into, and understanding of, human thoughts and emotions.

And we should not always externalize this process. At times, we should turn it inward to examine and understand our own thoughts, emotions, motivations, biases and viewpoints. This will help us to better understand who we are and what we truly want and need for happiness and fulfillment. It will also enable us to communicate better and thus lead richer, fuller lives. May we all become better readers of the human winds!

Excerpted from “Breakdancing On A Balance Beam” Authored by Kathy Frank | Copyright © Angur Inc. 2012. Kathleen Frank is the President of Augur, Inc. http://www.augurinc.com

Coaching Call To Action

This week consider where you are being an invisible, but powerful, force.  Is it helping you create and foster successful relationships and communications?  If not, what changes will you make?

What’s New?

The Metrowest Daily News | South Edition, August 13, 2012
BUSINESS LEADER PROFILE – Andrea Novakowski

Name of business: Coach Andrea; Address: 39 Lakeview Terrace, Ashland; Phone number: 508-231-0766; Website: www.coachandrea.com

In three sentences, tell us how you ended up in this line of work.

When I left my corporate job, I took time off to consider what it was that I wanted to do next. I started coaching with a vision of creating extraordinary relationships among people in the business world, helping people grow and develop as leaders in their organization and life, and giving back to others. Coaching fit the bill by allowing me to help people accomplish what they want by holding their vision and helping them find ways to get there.

What are two memories from your career that stick with you the most?

One, when my client told me that because of our coaching together, she turned her dream into reality – she created a life outside of her business that honored her values. Two, being inducted into the International Coach Federation of New England’s Hall of Fame this year for my coaching skills, contributions and impact in promoting coaching to the business community.

What do you most like and least like about your work?

Like: I love helping people find solutions to questions they have and helping them move past places where they are stuck in work or life. Least like: I wish companies valued their people more by providing resources, experiences and support to help them be more successful.

What makes your business unusual?

I’m a business coach and I specialize in working with people who own their own businesses. I’m a business owner and have been for 25 years. During that time, I’ve built two companies, one of which was sold to Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Massachusetts in the mid-1990s. I know what it’s like to juggle a lot of moving parts to keep things working day to day. In addition, my work with clients focuses on helping them sift through their conflicting priorities and demands to determine what’s most important, and then take action.

What advice do you have for someone who wants to open a business?

Always focus on your business and use some of your enthusiasm and excitement to take care of yourself and your health outside of the business. You can only work 24/7 for so long before you burn out.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

In this Tip, Simon Tyler challenges you to rethink your meeting behavior.  My first reaction – “you’re kidding.”  My second response – “Hmm, let’s consider this more closely.  What could be possible for my clients and me by changing our meeting habits?”

Quote of the Week

“If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.”

~ John Cleese

Simplifying Meeting Madness

By Simon Tyler

Unless you work on your own, for yourself or in isolation, your weekly schedule will be peppered with meetings. Meetings about your projects, team members’ projects, corporate information sharing, program updates and on and on.

The culture in your organization has possibly led to the habit of multiple invitations and equally habitual acceptance and attendance. What was once a conversation, then a meeting has become a forum or even a committee.

The time left to be creative, space to think, opportunities to build relationships, has reduced down to a few chances a day, often in the margins at the beginning or end of the day or even packed into part of your travel time.

If you truly desire positive change, to create something new for you, your team or your company, then the time must surely have come for you to check your meeting habits now.

I have often found inspiration in the thinking and working practices of the late Steve Jobs and this Simple Note about meetings is dedicated to him.

He instilled within Apple the principle of meetings populated by the fewest participants possible. Unless someone is critical to the decision or has something crucial to add, they were asked to leave the meeting.

Start with small groups of smart people, every time the number increases, unnecessary complexity increases with it.

To access the best of simplicity, not least speed, I provocatively suggest that the more critical a project the fewer smart ones you co-opt in the better. This is the opposite to most corporate behavior.

And a bonus meeting culture changer: never allow a meeting to go beyond 30 minutes.

Go on, challenge your meeting behavior, and keep it simple.

Simon Tyler is one of the world’s leading business coaches. His work simplifies the lives of business leaders and owners. He is an incisive consultant, inspirational writer, provocative public speaker and master facilitator. To learn more about Simon, visit http://simontyler.com.

Coaching Call To Action

What will you do this week to change your meeting behavior so that you and your company are more productive?  Shorter meetings, fewer meetings, less people?

What’s New?

Thursday, August 16, 2012 – 9 am to noon EDT
The Return of Pounce on a Project

I’m inspired by all of the steps my clients have been taking this year!  I know I have to spend some time decluttering my office.  I’m going to do some prep work by creating a vision of what I want the room to look like.  During Pounce, I will start the hands on work.  What project would you like to get on top of and accomplish this month? Come to Pounce on a Project I – - 2012.

Join Coach Andrea on Thursday, August 16th, from 9:00 a.m. to noon Eastern. We will join as a group by phone and declare what you want to accomplish: marketing calls to hit your numbers, adding a shopping cart to your website, or cleaning your office so you can find the goals you created in January.

During the morning, the group will gather by phone a few times to check progress and get any support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your lightness and fun and join us for the energization.

To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail me by noon on Wednesday, August 15th. Feel free to share this with friends and co-workers, the more the merrier. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long distance phone calls.)

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

The topic of “managing my reaction” to events comes up with many of my coaching clients. I liked Alan Zimmerman’s article this week because he provides a formula for determining what your reaction will be.  You can make a difference!

Quote of the Week

“One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.”

~ Rita Mae Brown

Avoid Rejection By Changing Your Reaction

By Dr. Alan Zimmerman

Roger Miller said, “Some people walk in the rain. Others just get wet.” He’s so right.

Have you ever noticed that two people can experience the same thing on a sales call, like getting a simple “no,” but react in totally different ways? I sure have. And that reaction makes all the difference in the world.

Getting “no’s” and resistance on calls is inevitable, IF you are actually placing calls. The “rejection” part is totally optional.

In my seminars, I teach a simple formula. It says E + R = O or Event plus Reaction equals Outcome. You can’t change, prevent, or delete many of the “Events” that happen on calls, or in life, but you do have control over your “Reaction.”

And that’s critical. Your reaction will give you the “Outcome” of celebration or desperation.

So what determines your “Reaction?”

There are three elements. The first element is BELIEF. If you have the right beliefs, and if you believe in the right things, you’ll be on the road to a life of celebration.

Unfortunately, some people just don’t get it. They believe in the wrong things. Just look at people’s bumper strips, and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Last week I saw a well dressed person driving an expensive car with a bumper strip that read, “Life is a bitch, then you die.” How sad!

Contrast that to a person who uses the power of BELIEF. Even though that person might have a challenging life, he or she continues to experience joy and peace of mind.

Perhaps the best example I ever came across was a saying scratched on the wall of a basement in Germany. It was found after World War II, placed there by some unknown Jew who was hiding from the Nazis. He wrote:

“I believe in the sun even when it is not shining. I believe in love even when I do not feel it. I believe in God even when He is silent.”

He or she was living a life of celebration when most people would have thought it impossible to do so. It was a matter of BELIEF.

The second element is FOCUS. What do you choose to focus on? There’s always some good in a bad situation, and there’s always some bad in a good situation. After all, we’re living on earth, not in heaven.

An old ditty says it this way:

“As you go through life, brother, Whatever be your goal, Keep your eye upon the doughnut, And not upon the hole!”

I’m sure you know some sales reps who focus on the hole, and I’m sure those are the same people who live a life of desperation.

It’s like one person I knew who was sent to a seminar by her company. The trip was paid by the employer; the hotel was very nice, and the training was excellent. But this person’s only comment about the entire experience was the fact that the chairs in the training room were uncomfortable. I’m sure they were. But her focus on the uncomfortable chairs kept her from celebrating the rest of the trip.

By contrast, Dr. Marion Stottlemire at the Kansas University Public Management Center says,

“One of the greatest causes of stress in the modern world is unhappiness with our work or our work situation. You CANNOT AFFORD TO BE UNHAPPY ON THE JOB. It is killing you.”

To make his point, Dr. Stottlemire related the following story. He recently met a friend that he hadn’t seen for a long time. Of course, he asked him how he was, and his friend said he was happy and healthy.

As they talked, Dr. Stottlemire learned that his friend had been passed over for a promotion. In fact a subordinate had gotten the job. So he asked his friend how he was dealing with it. He replied, “Well for a while I was quite bitter. Then I realized that I was making myself miserable. I decided that I had always liked this job, and I was just going to keep doing it and make the most of it.” The friend had decided to focus on the doughnut and not the hole.

So the second element that determines your life of celebration or desperation is your FOCUS. Or as one person said, it’s better to grow through your experiences than simply go through them. There’s a lesson in every experience, and if you focus on that, you’ll be in much better shape.

The third determining element is VISION. Whereas as focus deals with what you see in the present, vision deals with what you see in the future. Those who live lives of desperation only see doom and gloom in the future.

While England or Great Britain was arguably one of the best countries in the world and was running the largest empire in the world, there were many prophets of doom. In 1801, Wilberforce said he dared not have any children because the future was too unsettled.

In 1806, William Penn said,
“There is scarcely anything around us but ruin and despair.”

In 1848,
Lord Shaftsbury said, “Nothing can save the British Empire from ship wreck.”

In 1849, Benjamin Disraeli said,
“In industry, commerce, and agriculture there is no hope.”

In 1852, the Duke of Wellington said,
“I thank God that I shall be spared from seeing the consummation of ruin that is settling in around us.”

They did not have a positive or promising vision.

You need a positive VISION of the future if you’re going to live a life of celebration. Tom Layton makes that clear. At 101 years of age, he has won several medals at the Senior Olympics, and he’s a man of great joy. When asked for his secret, he said, “I don’t look at my life as behind me.”

Now that might sound like an odd thing for a person to say who is 101 years old. But Tom has a very different definition of “old.” He says, “Old is when your memories exceed your dreams.”

It’s obvious that Tom still has a lot of dreams. He has a VISION for the future. What about you?

As published in Art Sobczak’s Smart Calling newsletter and from Dr. Alan Zimmerman’s Internet newsletter, the ‘Tuesday Tip.’ For your own personal, free subscription to the ‘Tuesday Tip,’ go to http://www.DrZimmerman.com

Coaching Call To Action

BELIEF, FOCUS, and VISION will give you a life of celebration instead of desperation. I challenge you to work on your FOCUS.

To be specific, select 10 specific events that occur in your life over the next week. For every one of those events, look for the good in each of those events. It may take a little work to find those positive elements, but the more you practice these FOCUS skills, the better you’ll feel and the better you’ll do.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

After many years of being prompted to write my own Tip, I am sticking my toe in the water this week.  Periodically, I will be sharing my thoughts and learnings with you. Last week’s Tip was from the perspective of a person who has a boss and improving the working relationship with that boss.  This week’s Tip focuses on your behavior, beliefs and assumptions as the boss and how they can get you in trouble.

Quote of the Week

“Contrary to what I believed as a little girl, being the boss almost never involves marching around, waving your arms, and chanting, ‘I am the boss! I am the boss!’”

~ Tina Fey

5 Mistakes That Can Sink a Good Boss

By Andrea Novakowski

If you own a company or manage a department, part of the reason you’ve come this far is because you’re good at what you do. But inspiring the people who work for you to give their best efforts is another skill altogether. It’s hard to complete tasks well and on time if your staff isn’t on the same page with you, or if they don’t share your commitment to success.

Are you frustrated by employees who don’t perform as well as expected? It may be time to take a look at your leadership style. Here are five common mistaken beliefs that may be interfering with your effectiveness as a boss.

1. Good new hires will know how to do the job right out of the blocks.
Hiring a competent person is only the first step. Even if the new person arrives already accomplished in his field, spend time with him so he can get to know your approach and share your vision. No matter what position he occupies, help him become attuned to your strategic plan. It takes time, but the payoff is huge.

2. No one else can do the job as well as I can.
As your organization grows, you’ll be adding people below you. Why did you hire them if not to help lighten your load, so you can focus on what’s most important? (What’s important may even include your own improved quality of life.) Surround yourself with good people, then give them a chance to show they can handle the responsibility. Step back and let them take some of the weight off your shoulders.

3. If I tell them once, they should be good to go.
Not necessarily. Part of the job of a manager is to provide ongoing feedback. Don’t limit this to just once a year during performance reviews: help your people understand how they can do a better job now. Helping them grow and develop increases their value in the workplace, and more important, to your company.

4. I’m too busy to plan – I need to do!
Do you ever feel as if you spend your whole day at work just responding to the biggest crisis? Take time to sit down and map out a strategy for the future. Planning may seem like a luxury when you have so much on your plate already, but if you don’t invest time now, you’ll find yourself operating in perpetual crisis mode later – which, as everyone knows, is a sure recipe for burnout. Don’t try to muscle your way through every issue that faces you. Think before you execute (or delegate the execution to others).

5. My people know they are doing a good job. I don’t have to tell them.
One of the biggest mistakes managers make is failing to recognize their employees’ successes and only pointing out their faults. Think about it – do you perform better when you know you’re appreciated, or when you’re only chastised for your shortcomings? Letting people know you’re pleased with their achievements will encourage them to continue striving to do good work. It’s human nature!

Coaching Call To Action

Would you rate yourself as an inspiring leader with your people giving their best?  If not, choose one or two changes from the above list that will free you and your employees to do the job each of you is supposed to be doing.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Michael Neill’s articles always provide a new tool that’s easy to use.  This week’s Tip has you turn around the word “but” to help you increase your success.

Quote of the Week

“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.”

~ Shirley MacLaine

Reversing “Buts”

By Michael Neill

I believe the credit for this one goes to John McWhirter, a UK-based NLP trainer. I originally came across it as a sales technique for handling objections, but I’ve used it a lot in my own personal development work….

How many times have you heard sentences like this?

“I’d like to hear more about your idea, but I haven’t got time right now.”
“I think you’re a really great person, but I’m not ready for a relationship.”
“It sounds great, but I can’t afford it.”

Most of us have learned to disregard whatever comes before the “but” and take the second half of the sentence as the speakers “actual” message. But what happens if you reverse the sentence, using the “but” as the pivot point, and then take things a step further in the direction we want them to go?

Try reading the following examples out loud, emphasizing the underlined phrase!:

“So you haven’t got time right now, but you’d love to hear more about this? When would be a better time to set up a meeting?”

“Let me see… you’re not ready for a relationship, but you think I’m a really great person? How about if we just hang out together for a while?”

“If I’m understanding you, you can’t afford it, but it sounds great? Well if it sounds great, let’s see if we can’t sort out a way for you to afford it!”

Today’s Experiment:

1. Complete the following sentence stems. You may complete each one as many different ways as you would like.

a. I want to be successful, but…
b. I want to be healthy, but…
c. I want to exercise, but…
d. I want to have more money, but…
e. I want a great relationship, but…
f.  I want to be true to myself, but…

2. Choose your favorite completions from part one. Reverse the “but”, and sell yourself on a new belief!

Example:

1. I want to have more money, but I don’t want to do more work.
2. I don’t want to do more work, but I do want to have more money. What are twenty things I could do to make more money with less work?

Have fun and learn heaps!

Copyright 2011 Michael Neill, author of Supercoach: 10 Secrets to Transform Anyone’s Life.  All rights reserved – Read more tips at www.Supercoach.com.

Coaching Call To Action

This week do what Michael suggests.  I bet you will have some ah-ha’s (and perhaps some ha-ha’s)!

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