Ways to Prevent a Conflict from Escalating

Posted on Apr 13 2012 | Tagged as: Business Owners, Coaches Being Mentored, Executives, Individuals, Managers, Tip of the Week

Coach Andrea’s Intro

Is there value in promoting conflict? Encouraging differing opinions, yes.  Conflict, no.  If you are noticing conflict is becoming more prevalent in your company, consider David Cottrell’s tips on how to minimize the potential conflagration of conflict.

Quote of the Week

“Conflict is going to happen whether you want it or not. People will be butt heads. Sometimes when you least expect it.”

~ Jimmy Bise Jr.

Ways to Prevent a Conflict from Escalating

By David Cottrell

  1. Get all the facts and clearly identify the problem.
  2. Encourage people to challenge the status quo often so that alternatives are continually being evaluated.
  3. When others explain their intention and viewpoints, summarize and paraphrase to confirm understanding.
  4. Look for common ground in any difficult situation.
  5. When possible, resolve one issue at a time.
  6. Deal with the molehills before they become mountains!
  7. Only send and respond to e-mails that are informational in nature. If there is any hint of disagreement, meet in person or pick up the phone.
  8. Watch and listen for inconsistencies between people’s words and their nonverbal behaviors and encourage them to voice their concerns (Cottrell, p. 80).

From:  Cottrell, D. (2009).  Monday morning motivation: five steps to energize your team, customers, and profits.  New York: HarperCollins Publishers.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu/

Coaching Call To Action

Are you a conflict inciter or smoother?  What is the value of your position to yourself and those around you?  What would add even more value?  Who in your company will you share your thoughts with this week?

Business Coaching and the Power of the Pause

Posted on Feb 24 2012 | Tagged as: Business Owners, Executives, Individuals, Managers, Tip of the Week

Coach Andrea’s Intro

Is someone at work pushing your buttons?  Does this lead you to frustration and anger?  This week’s Tip describes a simple process to follow that changes your reaction and the outcome.

Quote of the Week

“The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes–ah, that is where the art resides!”

~ Arthur Schnabel

Business Coaching and the Power of the Pause

By Andrea Novakowski

Cara was a manager at a Providence, RI consulting firm who could always be counted on to get the job done. She had a hard-driving style that got results, and her boss recognized how valuable she was to the company. Then one day Cara walked in and discovered she had a new manager, one who didn’t appreciate her take-no-prisoners approach.

Suddenly, what was once applauded was now being penalized.

No matter where she turned, she found herself in continual conflict with her new boss. Every meeting ended in a heated discussion. Every day was an exercise in frustration. Cara called me to help her decide if it was time to leave the company.

We used the PaperRoom System to determine that Cara was getting more than 80 percent of her needs met at her current job. Obviously, quitting wasn’t the solution. She had to figure out a way to work with her new manager.

Communication with your boss can be a challenging thing, especially when your styles clash. Cara and I tackled the problem by using a simple diagram from the book 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done by business coach and consultant Peter Bregman.

According to Bregman, here’s how most conflict plays out:

Event => Reaction => Outcome

Someone says or does something that pushes your buttons (event). You respond with anger or frustration (reaction). This leads to an undesirable outcome. For Cara, it was wasted time and energy, not to mention the stress of arguing with her supervisor.
I showed Cara how to recognize this dynamic and change it to yield more productive results:

Event => Outcome => Reaction

First, Cara determined which part of her boss’s behavior triggered her negative reaction.  Next, she paused and envisioned the outcome she wanted: not a battle with her boss, but more appreciation for her contribution to the company and more responsibility. She saw her typical reaction wasn’t producing this result. So she changed her reaction.

As you might expect, that part can be tricky. How do you pause in the heat of the moment, rather than responding automatically to provocation? Cara determined three actions that worked for her:

  • Calm down by counting to 10 in her head.
  • Agree with what her manager is saying in the moment, then circle back for a more complete conversation when he is calmer.
  • Observe how other people manage her boss when he gets worked up.

Over the next two months Cara practiced her new strategies. She became more aware of her manager’s behavior and trained herself to respond differently. She and her boss started having more productive meetings. In our last phone call, Cara was thrilled to report she’d been invited by her manager to work with him on a special project!

Do you have a manager, co-worker, or employee who rubs you the wrong way? If your conflict with this person doesn’t produce the outcome you want, it may be time to visualize the outcome you do want — and then change your reaction to make it happen.

Coaching Call To Action

This week plan for the potentially contentious interactions on your calendar. You know which ones I mean.  What is the outcome that you want?  What will you do differently to get that outcome?

Secrets of Successful Teams

Posted on Feb 03 2012 | Tagged as: Business Owners, Executives, Leadership, Managers, Success, Tip of the Week

Coach Andrea’s Intro

In 50% of my coaching calls and meetings last week, we discussed teams and how to make them even more successful.  Whether you are the leader or the follower in a team, this week’s Tip by Chris Widener provides key principles that if applied will take your team to the next level. They are simple and easy to understand.  An evaluation checklist is provided at the end of the Tip.

Quote of the Week

“Players win games, teams win championships.”

~ Bill Taylor

Secrets of Successful Teams

By Chris Widener

To be a success is not always to be a success individually. In fact, most of the time, we achieve our successes as part of a team.

We are all part of teams. Our family is a team. Our place of work is a team. The community groups we belong to are teams. Sometimes we are the team leader or “coach,” while other times we fulfill the role of follower or “player.” It is so important, then, for us to understand teams and how they work, especially those who achieve success-the achievement of their desired goal.

In my life, I have been on some successful teams, and some not-so-successful teams. This includes both athletically as well as professionally. When I was growing up, I worked for seven years with the Seattle Supersonics, our local National Basketball Association team, which now plays in Oklahoma City as the Thunder. They were at times unsuccessful and, in 1979, my second year working there, the most successful team in the league, winning the World Championship. I have been able to see firsthand what makes the difference between the unsuccessful teams and the successful ones.

Here are some principles I know that, when implemented on a regular basis, can turn any lackluster team into an outstanding one! These principles can be applied to your family, your business, your organization and, yes, your sports team.

Communication/Leader
The leader needs to communicate the vision. If they are setting the pace, they need to let people know where they are going so that the team can follow. The coach always does a pre-game talk, laying out the vision.

The leader communicates the vision frequently, so as to always be updating the team as to where they are at and what changes need to be made. The coach doesn’t relegate the direction he gives to the pre-game; he coaches and communicates all the way through the game.

Team
Watch a good basketball team. They are talking to each other all of the time. Helping one another out, encouraging one another, praising one another, and telling each other how they can make changes so the same mistakes aren’t made again. The same is true of successful teams in the professional world, and in life in general.

Excellence
The truly great teams are teams that are committed to excellence. In everything they do, their goal is to achieve at the highest level. And this commitment is held throughout the team and at every level. A successful team cannot have members who are not committed to excellence, because in the end, they will become the weak link.

Followership
If you want a fascinating read, pick up The Power of Followership by Robert Kelley. The author basically makes the point that the secret to getting things done lies not only in great leadership, but in how well everyone else, 99 percent of the team, follows the leadership. Good teams are filled with people who are committed to following and getting the job done.

Understanding Roles
Pardon the Chicago Bulls analogy, but it is so clear. In the team’s championship years, when the game was on the line, with only one shot left, everyone-the coaches, the players, the 20,000 people watching in the stadium and millions watching on TV-knew who would shoot the last shot. That was Michael Jordan’s role.

Every team works best when the members of the team have clearly defined and understood roles. Some do one thing, others do another. One isn’t better or more important than the other, just different. When teams operate out of their strengths and their roles, they win.

Strengths and Weaknesses
This brings me to strengths and weaknesses. Every team member has strengths and weaknesses. The successful teams are those who on a regular and consistent basis enable the members to operate out of their strengths and not out of their weaknesses. And one person’s strength will cover another’s weakness. This is teamwork, enabling all of the bases to be covered.

Fun
The team that plays together stays together. Is your team all work and no play? If you’re smart, that will change. Get your team out of the office once a month and go have some fun. Enjoy one another. Enjoy life. It will bring a sense of bonding that can’t be made even in “winning.”

Common Goals and Vision
I have found that these need to have three aspects: short, simple and clear. Can you say it in less than 30 seconds? Is it simple? Can you and others understand it? Does the team all know what they are working together for?

Appreciation
All through the “game,” successful teams appreciate one another and show it in a variety of ways. The coach shows it to the players, the players show it to the coach, and the players show it to one another.

Here is a “Successful Teams” checklist you can use for evaluation:

  • Is there communication between coach and players and from player to player?
  • Is your team committed to excellence?
  • Do those on the team know what it means to follow?
  • Does everyone on my team know their specific role?
  • Do the individuals on our team regularly operate out of their strengths as opposed to their weaknesses?
  • Does our team take a break from time to time to just have fun together?
  • Do we understand our common goals and vision? Can we all state it (them)?
  • Is there a sense of and communication of genuine appreciation among my team?

Chris Widener is the President of Chris Widener International. www.ChrisWidener.com Chris can be reached at Chris@MadeForSuccess.com

Coaching Call To Action

This week use Chris’s checklist to rate one of your teams.  What change would make the biggest difference to your team?  Share this with them!

Are You Creating Clarity?

Posted on Jan 20 2012 | Tagged as: Business Owners, Coaches Being Mentored, Executives, Individuals, Leadership, Managers, Success, Tip of the Week

Coach Andrea’s Intro

When you delegate a job to one of your staff, why don’t you get back what you asked for?  One way to get closer at hitting 100% on your requests is to be clear in your communication.  Natalie Manor’s Tip this week is a great reminder about creating that clarity.

Quote of the Week

“The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate.”

~ Joseph Priestley

Are You Creating Clarity?

By Natalie Manor

This is crucial to building a confident communication habit.  Make sure that you are clear each and every time you speak and/or write and that the other(s) in communication with you understands the usage of your words. In England, a boot is the trunk of a car.  In New Jersey, a hoagie sandwich is a submarine sandwich. In New England, a frappe is a milk shake.

Find out if people understand what you mean, especially when it involves critical communication such as projects, sales, negotiations, and performance requirements. People will trust and respect you for creating clear communication.

Natalie R. Manor, CEO is an author, business consultant, speaker and executive coach. Her company, Natalie Manor & Associates, is the ultimate resource for business leaders, executives, owners and managers who want to master their life and their business by Getting Clear, Getting Confident and Being Effective faster than ever before. You can register for her free bi-weekly articles at: http://www.nataliemanor.com/newsletter/subscribe.html

Coaching Call To Action

When you are communicating with others this week, look to be especially clear.  What is one thing you will do that will add clarity?

Leading Through Change

Posted on Dec 02 2011 | Tagged as: Business Owners, Executives, Leadership, Managers, Tip of the Week

Coach Andrea’s Intro

One of the biggest changes I was involved with as a business owner was selling my business.  The first time my partner and I tried to sell, we were not transparent and all our employees quit during the process.  And did I mention I was 7 months pregnant?  We learned from our actions and the results.  The second time we were successful.  We shared as much as we could with our employees along the way.  Read on for Angie Morgan and Courtney Lynch’s suggestions on leading through change.

Quote of the Week

“Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.”

~ King Whitney Jr.

Leading Through Change

By Angie Morgan and Courtney Lynch

The world, our nation, our workplace and our lives are constantly confronted by change.  Change is often a scary prospect.  It means breaking out of one’s comfort zone and experiencing the unknown. And while progress does not occur without change, the anxiety that comes with it is real and cannot be overlooked. During these times, as a leader, it is vitally important that your focus remain upon those you are leading. In times of change you should always:

  • Acknowledge Anxiety. During times of uncertainty it is of the upmost importance that people’s feelings are acknowledged and addressed.  If ignored, these feelings become the pink elephant in the room – silently occupying everyone’s attention – to the detriment of all other pressing matters.  When dealt with directly and compassionately, anxious individuals get the message that their feelings are important and that you are looking out for their best-interests.  With their anxiety assuaged, they can focus more clearly on the specific task-at-hand.
  • Dispense Information Promptly. As soon as you have a piece of information that you know to be important to those who you lead, it must be disseminated to the group. A failure to do so will only result in heightened anxiety and a lack of trust in your leadership.
  • Be a Transparent Decision-Maker. During times of change you will be called upon to make many important decisions.  Whenever a decision affects those who you lead you should educate them on how the decision was made.  Even if some individuals question your reasoning, at least they will understand the time and effort you put into making the decision and the thought process you utilized.

Opportunities for great leadership are abundant during times of change.  By placing your focus during these times upon the needs of others, you will ensure that you are able to effectively lead through change.

This article was provided courtesy of Lead Star – a premiere leadership development firm. You can learn more about leadership by visiting their website at www.leadstar.us.

Coaching Call To Action

This week keep in mind that people have varying ways of dealing with change, many are not positive.  If your company is in the midst of making changes, take action to help others more easily move along this path with you.

How Many Questions Should You Ask at a Time?

Posted on Nov 18 2011 | Tagged as: Business Owners, Coaches Being Mentored, Executives, Tip of the Week

Coach Andrea’s Intro

This week’s Tip by Art Sobczak is a great reminder to only ask one question at a time. Sometimes, in coaching, I get so excited about what the client is telling me that I can start to rattle off a slew of questions.  And then I remember, people can only answer one question at a time.  Be thoughtful about the question you ask and then listen for the answer.

Here in the U.S. next week is Thanksgiving. A very Happy Thanksgiving to you all! Thank you for sharing your ideas, thoughts, feedback, challenges and successes with me. I am honored to be included in your life.

There will be no Coaching Tip of the Week on November 25, 2011 due to the Thanksgiving holiday. Enjoy this time of thanks and gratitude. Our next Tip will be issued on December 2, 2011.

Quote of the Week

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”

~ Ernest Hemingway

How Many Questions Should You Ask at a Time?

By Art Sobczak

At a social function I was talking to a guy who asked five questions in a row, didn’t listen to any of the answers, and only used his questions as a springboard to talk about himself.

Since I didn’t take much interest in what he was pitching (he shoved his business card into my hand) I watched and listened as he did that with several other people he met.

Sure, we all know we should ask questions. But the effort is wasted if they’re not asked in the right way, or you don’t listen to the answers.

++++++++++++KEY SALES POINT+++++++++++

When a listener hears a question, their mind immediately is conditioned to begin searching for answers. However, when several questions are posed in rapid-fire sequence, you leave the person confused as to which one they should answer first. And, some questions are not answered at all if you don’t give them an opportunity.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

For example, read this scenario without stopping to think about each question, as if you were the person hearing the questions:

Caller: “And what do you feel your company needs most regarding boosting morale and enthusiasm? Do you think it would be compensation related… or maybe training? And how does that affect performance in all of the departments?”

Did you feel like a spinning top, rotating around trying to focus on the questions coming from all directions? Same thing happens with prospects and customers.

EFFECTIVE QUESTIONING GUIDELINES

  1. Ask one question at a time. If it’s not important enough to stand on its own, don’t ask it.
  2. After you ask it, shut up. If they don’t answer immediately, resist the urge to answer it for them or follow up with another one. They’re likely thinking about what they’re going to say.
  3. After they apparently have finished, remain quiet for 1-2 more seconds. You might get additional information, and ensures you don’t interrupt.
  4. Follow-up their answer with a related question. Don’t ping-pong around from subject to subject. For example, if they answered with, “I believe the main problem we have right now is a lack of motivation,” a logical next query would be, “Oh, what are some specific situations where you’ve seen a lack of motivation?”
  5. Be confident in your questioning. One reason people ask multiple questions is that they aren’t comfortable asking questions. The only way you’re going to truly help someone is by finding out about them. You’re not intruding. You’re assisting.

Fielding multiple questions is confusing for the listener, and counter-productive for you. Ask one at a time, and listen!

Continue having your best week ever!

Art Sobczak, Business By Phone Inc., provides how-to ideas and tips for rejectionless prospecting, selling, and servicing by phone. Get the free ebook, “29 Sales Tips You Can Use Right Now” at http://www.BusinessByPhone.com.

Coaching Call To Action

This week practice asking one question at a time and really listening to the answer. You might be surprised by what you hear.  This tool can be used at home, too!

5 Mistakes That Can Sink a Good Boss

Posted on Oct 21 2011 | Tagged as: Business Owners, Executives, Leadership, Managers, Tip of the Week

Coach Andrea’s Intro

After many years of being prompted to write my own Tip, I am sticking my toe in the water this week.  Periodically, I will be sharing my thoughts and learnings with you. Last week’s Tip was from the perspective of a person who has a boss and improving the working relationship with that boss.  This week’s Tip focuses on your behavior, beliefs and assumptions as the boss and how they can get you in trouble.

Quote of the Week

“Contrary to what I believed as a little girl, being the boss almost never involves marching around, waving your arms, and chanting, ‘I am the boss! I am the boss!’”

~ Tina Fey

5 Mistakes That Can Sink a Good Boss

By Andrea Novakowski

If you own a company or manage a department, part of the reason you’ve come this far is because you’re good at what you do. But inspiring the people who work for you to give their best efforts is another skill altogether. It’s hard to complete tasks well and on time if your staff isn’t on the same page with you, or if they don’t share your commitment to success.

Are you frustrated by employees who don’t perform as well as expected? It may be time to take a look at your leadership style. Here are five common mistaken beliefs that may be interfering with your effectiveness as a boss.

1. Good new hires will know how to do the job right out of the blocks.
Hiring a competent person is only the first step. Even if the new person arrives already accomplished in his field, spend time with him so he can get to know your approach and share your vision. No matter what position he occupies, help him become attuned to your strategic plan. It takes time, but the payoff is huge.

2. No one else can do the job as well as I can.
As your organization grows, you’ll be adding people below you. Why did you hire them if not to help lighten your load, so you can focus on what’s most important? (What’s important may even include your own improved quality of life.) Surround yourself with good people, then give them a chance to show they can handle the responsibility. Step back and let them take some of the weight off your shoulders.

3. If I tell them once, they should be good to go.
Not necessarily. Part of the job of a manager is to provide ongoing feedback. Don’t limit this to just once a year during performance reviews: help your people understand how they can do a better job now. Helping them grow and develop increases their value in the workplace, and more important, to your company.

4. I’m too busy to plan – I need to do!
Do you ever feel as if you spend your whole day at work just responding to the biggest crisis? Take time to sit down and map out a strategy for the future. Planning may seem like a luxury when you have so much on your plate already, but if you don’t invest time now, you’ll find yourself operating in perpetual crisis mode later – which, as everyone knows, is a sure recipe for burnout. Don’t try to muscle your way through every issue that faces you. Think before you execute (or delegate the execution to others).

5. My people know they are doing a good job. I don’t have to tell them.
One of the biggest mistakes managers make is failing to recognize their employees’ successes and only pointing out their faults. Think about it – do you perform better when you know you’re appreciated, or when you’re only chastised for your shortcomings? Letting people know you’re pleased with their achievements will encourage them to continue striving to do good work. It’s human nature!

Coaching Call To Action

Would you rate yourself as an inspiring leader with your people giving their best?  If not, choose one or two changes from the above list that will free you and your employees to do the job each of you is supposed to be doing.

Seven Ways to Make Sure Your Boss Thinks You’re Doing a Great Job

Posted on Oct 14 2011 | Tagged as: Business Owners, Executives, Individuals, Managers, Tip of the Week

Coach Andrea’s Intro

Whether you own your own company, manage others or are an individual contributor, you have a “boss.” Your boss may be your board of directors, your clients, and/or your manager.  No matter which category applies to you, this week’s Tip provides a great checklist for making your boss love you!

Quote of the Week

“Only the curious will learn and only the resolute overcome the obstacles to learning. The quest quotient has always excited me more than the intelligence quotient.”

~ Eugene S. Wilson

Seven Ways to Make Sure Your Boss Thinks You’re Doing a Great Job

By Penelope Trunk

  1. Know your boss’s priorities. If your boss is a numbers person, quantify all your results.  If your boss is a customer-is-first kind of guy, frame all your results in terms of benefits to the customer.
  2. Say no. Say yes to things that matter most to your boss.  Say no to most everything else, and your boss will appreciate that you are focused on her needs.
  3. Communicate the way your boss does. If your boss likes e-mail, use it.  If your boss prefers voice mail, phone in your updates.  Convey information to your boss in the way she likes so that she’s more likely to retain it.
  4. Toot your own horn. Each time you do something that impacts the company let your boss know.  Whatever the mechanism, you need to let your boss know each time you achieve something that matters to her.
  5. Lunch with your boss. If all things are equal, your boss will promote the person she likes the best.  So go out to lunch and talk about what interests her.
  6. Seek new responsibilities. Find important holes in your department before your boss notices them.  Take responsibility for filling those holes and your boss will appreciate your foresight, but also your ability to do more than your job.
  7. Be curious. Remember to take time to read and listen.  Then ask questions when they are not expected; you will make yourself more interesting to be around, and you will elicit fresh ideas from everyone around you.  Your boss will feel like having you on the team improves everyone’s work – even his own – and, after all, that is your primary job in managing up (Trunk, 2007, p. 145-147).

From: Trunk, P. (2007). Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success.  New York:  Warner Business Books.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu

Coaching Call To Action

One of my readers responded to last week’s Tip, Success is Supposed to Be Fun and Rewarding, sharing that she had not been aligned with her boss’s priorities and goals and was not feeling the love.  If you are in a similar situation or want to ensure you don’t get there, take time this week to put two to three of these ideas into action.

Are You Too Wordy?

Posted on Sep 16 2011 | Tagged as: Business Owners, Coaches Being Mentored, Executives, Individuals, Managers, Tip of the Week

Coach Andrea’s Intro

Last week while I was on vacation in NH. I had time for long conversations as life for me moved a bit slower, people listened a bit longer and it was a joy. Coming back to work on Monday, I noticed that I wasn’t so appreciative of the wonderful twists and turns and openings that occur in longer conversations. I wanted people to get to the point! This week’s Tip by Loren Ekroth has me wonder, during these days of 24/7, might a powerful communication strategy for you be to talk less?

Quote of the Week

“Be sincere; be brief; be seated.”
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Are You Too Wordy?

By Loren Ekroth

One of the biggest dislikes about conversationalists is that they ramble, don’t get to the point, and dominate by going on and on. They can’t seem to say anything without using lots of words.

The ability to be brief will serve you well. How?

  1. You’ll be admired for your care with language.
  2. You’ll be able to talk effectively when you have minimal time, especially if you are on radio or TV, but also in meetings.
  3. Listeners will better remember what you say.
  4. You won’t steal the “air time” of other conversers.

Here’s what some very smart people had to say about being brief:

“Fifty years ago, John F. Kennedy gave one of the shortest inaugural addresses in U.S. history, yet it is one of the longest remembered. The Gettysburg Address required only a few minutes. During the height of World War II, Churchill said to the Luftwaffe, “Do your worst, we will do our best!” Memorable ideas and powerful directions are succinct, pithy, and relevant. How do you want people to think of and remember you?”
– Alan Weiss, professional speaker, consultant

“To use many words to communicate few thoughts is everywhere the unmistakable sign of mediocrity. To gather much thought into few words stamps the man of genius.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer, philosopher

“Be brief; for it is with words as with sunbeams. The more they are condensed, the deeper they burn.”
– Robert Southey, English poet, 1774-1873

To express yourself succinctly, wrote Mark Twain, is to speak with “a minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.” He also wrote, “I’d have written you a shorter letter, but I didn’t have time.”

Here are some ways you can develop your ability to be brief.

  1. Read a short magazine article or newspaper column of 500-1000 words and try to express the gist of it in less than 50 words.
  2. Look for exemplars of this ability in your place of worship, workplace, or club. See what they do, then do likewise.
  3. Read short poetry, especially haiku. “Feel” what can be done with few words.
  4. Join a Toastmasters club. (Find one in your area at www.Toastmasters.org)
  5. Practice in everyday life. Slow down a bit, breathe more often, say fewer words.

Take to heart the profound words of the Bard:

“Brevity is the soul of wit.” — Shakespeare, Hamlet.

From “Better Conversations” newsletter by Loren Ekroth. Reprinted with permission. Copyright 2011. All Rights reserved. Dr. Ekroth is creator of information products to improve conversation, such as “Small Talk Success Tips” and a free newsletter at www.ConversationMatters.com.

Coaching Call To Action

As you attend meetings this week, notice the impact people have through their communication style. What works better in your business setting – more words or fewer words? Do your observations support Loren’s hypothesis or not?

Seek Resolution, Not Revolution

Posted on Aug 26 2011 | Tagged as: Business Owners, Executives, Individuals, Managers, Tip of the Week

Coach Andrea’s Intro

Many of my clients have been reporting contentious conversation with coworkers and direct reports. Maybe it’s the heat of summer, although we’ve had beautiful weather this week here in MA. In the ’70s during the day! This week’s Tip from Angie and Courtney has you consider the other person’s perspective before jumping into defending your own position.

Great advice on how to keep your cool!

Quote of the Week

“The aim of argument, or of discussion, should not be victory, but progress.”

- Joseph Jouber

Seek Resolution, Not Revolution

By Angie Morgan and Courtney Lynch

Take a moment today to think about an argument or heated discussion that you have had recently. It might have been a disagreement with a coworker, a fight with your spouse or a conflict with a friend. Whatever the case, think, not about the subject of the conversation, but about your underlying motivations.

How much of the conflict centered around your own ego? If you are really honest with yourself, as the conversation progressed, wasn’t the disagreement less about the topic at hand and more about your need to be right?

As a leader, you must work on your ability to take others’ views and opinions into account. If the topic involved was important enough to invest your energy in the argument, then what you really seek is resolution not revolution.

So, the next time you find yourself embroiled in an argument, stop and check your ego. Before you vigorously defend your own position, take a moment to consider the opposing perspective. After all, it’s not about being right, it’s about making progress!

This article was provided courtesy of Lead Star – a premiere leadership development firm. You can learn more about leadership by visiting their website at www.leadstar.us

Coaching Call To Action

This week expand your perspective by seeing situations through the other person’s eyes. What do you learn about them? Yourself?

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