Coach Andrea

Coach Andrea’s Intro

This week’s Tip by Nancy Solomon is a reminder to continue to step into your greatness.  You are here in this life to be you! Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!

Quote of the Week

“Greatness is not in where we stand, but in what direction we are moving. We must sail sometimes with the wind, and sometimes against it – but sail we must. And not drift, nor lie at anchor.”

~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

You Were Born to Be Brilliant

By Nancy D. Solomon

Embedded deep within our souls, in the very fiber of our DNA, is our blueprint for greatness.  Each one of us has our own unrivaled brand of genius, irrespective of the fact that we may repeatedly forget that.  It is as exclusive to us as our thighs, and as quirky as our personalities.  Denying our brilliance doesn’t make it any duller, ignoring it breeds nothing worth mentioning and avoiding it brings unnecessary pain, misery, and suffering.

We came into our lives to get something done, something unique to us.  Our impact can only be accomplished by us. There is no job sharing.  Nor is there a do-over or makeup class.  This is it.  We are the keeper of our message.

You will never know the magnitude of the possibilities of your impact unless you show up in life (Solomon, p. 11-12).

From:  Solomon, N. D., (2010).  Impact!: what every woman needs to know to go from invisible to invincible.  Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu

Coaching Call To Action

Where are you wanting to show up more in your life?  Where can you shine your brilliance?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Want to build your self-confidence?  This week’s Tip by Graham Jones, provides a quick and easy technique to remind you of what you are doing well.

Quote of the Week

“Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.”

~ Dr. Thomas Arnold Bennett

Ensuring Quick Wins

By Graham Jones, Ph.D

You will probably have long-term goals related to your ambitions, but have you broken them down into medium- and short-term goals?  I encourage leaders who lack confidence to identify short-term goals because if and when they are achieved, they are an important and regular source of confidence.

Set some short-term goals for yourself.  These “quick wins” will allow you to build up a store of recent successes that you may wish to record on a small card and carry around for use when you need a confidence boost (Jones, p. 13-136).

From: Jones, G. (2009).  Thriving on Pressure: Mental Toughness for Real Leaders.  Westport, CT: Easton Studio Press.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu

Coaching Call To Action

In my bottom desk drawer, I have a folder called “Feel Good.” When I have a “win,” when I get a great card or acknowledgement from a client, colleague or friend, or when an article or quote touches me, it goes into the “Feel Good” folder.  On those days that I feel “less than”  and question myself, I go to my folder to remind myself that I can do it!

What will you do or create for yourself this week that builds your self-confidence?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Michael Neill’s articles always provide a new tool that’s easy to use.  This week’s Tip has you turn around the word “but” to help you increase your success.

Quote of the Week

“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.”

~ Shirley MacLaine

Reversing “Buts”

By Michael Neill

I believe the credit for this one goes to John McWhirter, a UK-based NLP trainer. I originally came across it as a sales technique for handling objections, but I’ve used it a lot in my own personal development work….

How many times have you heard sentences like this?

“I’d like to hear more about your idea, but I haven’t got time right now.”
“I think you’re a really great person, but I’m not ready for a relationship.”
“It sounds great, but I can’t afford it.”

Most of us have learned to disregard whatever comes before the “but” and take the second half of the sentence as the speakers “actual” message. But what happens if you reverse the sentence, using the “but” as the pivot point, and then take things a step further in the direction we want them to go?

Try reading the following examples out loud, emphasizing the underlined phrase!:

“So you haven’t got time right now, but you’d love to hear more about this? When would be a better time to set up a meeting?”

“Let me see… you’re not ready for a relationship, but you think I’m a really great person? How about if we just hang out together for a while?”

“If I’m understanding you, you can’t afford it, but it sounds great? Well if it sounds great, let’s see if we can’t sort out a way for you to afford it!”

Today’s Experiment:

1. Complete the following sentence stems. You may complete each one as many different ways as you would like.

a. I want to be successful, but…
b. I want to be healthy, but…
c. I want to exercise, but…
d. I want to have more money, but…
e. I want a great relationship, but…
f.  I want to be true to myself, but…

2. Choose your favorite completions from part one. Reverse the “but”, and sell yourself on a new belief!

Example:

1. I want to have more money, but I don’t want to do more work.
2. I don’t want to do more work, but I do want to have more money. What are twenty things I could do to make more money with less work?

Have fun and learn heaps!

Copyright 2011 Michael Neill, author of Supercoach: 10 Secrets to Transform Anyone’s Life.  All rights reserved – Read more tips at www.Supercoach.com.

Coaching Call To Action

This week do what Michael suggests.  I bet you will have some ah-ha’s (and perhaps some ha-ha’s)!

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

When I first talk to people about coaching, I tell them we will be creating a vision, setting goals, taking action, measuring performance, modifying actions (as needed) and achieving results. This structure has a built in assessment process to determine whether to continue along a path or modify. This week’s tip, by Marsha Petrie Sue, shares a similar idea: don’t give up, know when to cut your losses and create new goals.

Quote of the Week

“The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.”

~ Denis Watley

Know When to Cut Your Losses

by Marsha Petrie Sue

Sometimes, giving up is necessary. Quitting may very well be good for your health, according to a study reported on by the Association for Psychological Science. The lesson isn’t necessarily a new one; it simply states that it’s helpful to know when to cut your losses. But here is the catch: the upside to the study for those less willing to give up on goals easily is that of the participants who did quit, those who were more willing to set and re-engage in new goals had more sense of purpose. Notice they didn’t give up altogether; they merely modified their actions to fit a new set of goals.

So the question is: Will you give up, or toughen up? The choice, as always, is yours (Sue, p. 57).

From: Sue, M.P. (2010). The reactor factor: how to handle difficult work situations without going nuclear. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu

Coaching Call To Action

As you face obstacles this week, you have the choice of giving up, pushing through, or setting a new set of goals.  You choose.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

“I want more confidence!” These are the words of many of my clients when they first start coaching with me.  As Natalie Manor describes in this week’s Tip, sometimes you have to “fake it ‘til you make it.”

Quote of the Week

” I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time.“

~ Anna Freud

Confidence Can Be Yours At Each Moment

by Natalie Manor

Think of all the confident people you know. Isn’t there something just different about them? The way they walk, talk, hold themselves, how they get involved.

The characteristics of confident people are numerous. The difference between you and them may be that they are acting in a confident way and you are not.

Take one of the confident characteristics you think a confident person has and act that way all day today. Stride into a room. Sit easily and with grace. Speak with emphasis. Shake hands firmly.  By the end of the day you will feel differently. You will be feeling like a confident person.

Confidence is a practice. Each day add another characteristic. Pretty soon you will be striding confidently through your life and you will wonder what took you so long to catch on!

Natalie R. Manor, CEO is an author, business consultant, speaker and executive coach. Her company, Natalie Manor & Associates, is the ultimate resource for business leaders, executives, owners and managers who want to master their life and their business by Getting Clear, Getting Confident and Being Effective faster than ever before. You can register for her free bi-weekly articles at: http://www.nataliemanor.com/newsletter/subscribe.html

Coaching Call To Action

What characteristic of a confident person will you add to your repertoire this week?  I’d love to hear how it feels initially and after a day or two.

What’s New

Sunday, May 8, 2011
Moms, Happy Mother’s Day!

“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world.  It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”

This Sunday is Mother’s Day.  Take some time to appreciate the woman who brought you into this life.

Mom, thank you for your guidance, love and wisdom!

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Now that this week’s elections are over here in Massachusetts, it’s interesting to think about what candidates did during their campaign to garner attention and votes. It was clear that they changed the voice inside their head from saying “no” to “what the heck”. In some cases this worked and in some cases it backfired. But, we all know that unless you try, (make the sales call, make the request, push yourself) you’ll never know if you could have succeeded. This week Michael Neill elaborates on this point using the Clinton campaign as an example. See the power of moving past your inner gatekeeper.

Quote of the Week

“To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”
~ Elbert Hubbard

A Simple Shift To Create Possibility

by Michael Neill

I was once speaking with the personal assistant of one of my most influential clients. A large part of her job is to be the “gatekeeper” – the ultimate guardian of her boss’ time and schedule.

But when I asked her how often she actually had to “keep the gate”, she said that it was surprising to her how seldom people really tried to get past her and speak directly with her boss. At first, I thought that was odd, because I know a lot of people want things from this client.

And then I realized that wasn’t so odd at all. Because normally the gatekeeper inside us stops us way before we get to the gatekeeper outside us.

How many times do you stop yourself from asking?

How often do you talk yourself out of even looking into something or checking out a possibility because of that voice inside your head saying things like “Gee, they must get bombarded with things like this all the time”, or “that’s never going to work” or “there’s no point in even trying – they’re just going to say no”? We all have that voice – and yet some people aren’t stopped by it. What is it that allows them to move forward while the rest of us hold back?

Years ago, James Carville and Paul Begala were managing the presidential campaign of a then relatively unknown Governor from Arkansas named William Jefferson Clinton. They recognized that the only chance they had to make headway coming from the back of a very competitive field was if they changed the normal way of doing things.

In traditional political campaigns, the default response to any newly proposed initiative is “no”.

In a bizarre twist on “first, do no harm”, the only ideas that get through the screening process are the very small percentage that are either completely generic or on rare occasions, undeniably brilliant. While this does indeed result in a kind of damage limitation, it also results in ideas that don’t make that much difference to a campaign or in the world.

Since Clinton was never going to win with a traditional campaign, his team decided to do something kind of unique up until that point in politics. They decided to change the default response to “yes”. Instead of new ideas having to make it through layers of hierarchical bureaucracy before being approved, the new policy was essentially that any idea that had not been completely shot down by 9am was OK to run with.

This wasn’t an “anything goes” policy, and a number of eccentric, dodgy, and downright idiotic ideas didn’t make it through. But whereas most campaigns might try 2 or 3 different things in a month, the Clinton campaign was trying that many new things each day. And in the space of less than a year, he went from being a complete outsider that nobody believed had a chance to becoming the President of the United States of America.

While you may not want to become the next President, you can still benefit from making this simple shift in your own life. So as an experiment this week, flip your inner default switch from “no” to “yes” – from “what’s the point?” to “what the heck?”

Even if that voice inside your head turns out to be mostly right and things don’t work out and people do say “no” to your requests, you only have to be wrong two or three times to make tremendous progress on your seemingly impossible dreams. And if you don’t start moving past your inner gatekeeper, you’re probably not going to get very far in the outside world.

Have fun, learn heaps, and “just say ‘yes’!”

Copyright 2010 Michael Neill, bestselling author of You Can Have What You Want, and Supercoach: 10 Secrets to Transform Anyone’s Life. All rights reserved – Read more tips at http://www.geniuscatalyst.com

Coaching Call To Action

For the first half of the week notice: How many times do you stop yourself from asking?

For the second half of the week: Make the requests.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Earlier this month I took a class in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). One of the foundational beliefs of NLP is: There is no such thing as failure, only feedback. In this week’s article, Chris Widener explores this concept and the impact of the fear of failure.

Quote of the Week

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”
~Margaret Thatcher

Using Failure to Further Your Future

by Chris Widener

Failure. Even the word sounds bad, doesn’t it? That’s because since the time we were just young children we were taught that failure was bad. But is that true? Is failure bad? Let’s consider some things.

I like a baseball analogy. Do you know who set the record for a season batting average (that means how many times the batter successfully hit to get on base)? It is a gentleman by the name of Ted Williams, and his season batting average was .411 one year. That means that out of 1,000 times at bat, he would get a hit 411 times. That is considered by baseball fans as one of the greatest records ever. There are players making millions of dollars who hit .280!

But what does that stat also tell us if we flip it around? It tells us that the best season any batter ever had in the major leagues was a failure rate of .589! Even the best fail on a regular basis!

What about the richest people on Wall Street? Do they fail? Of course, they do. They pick the bad stocks sometimes, but they cut their losses and learn from their failure.

Did Michael Jordan miss shots? More than 50 percent of them!

So what about all this? What does this mean for us? The fact is, I think we can learn a lot about failure that will actually make us a great success. So here are some thoughts to help you use failure to further your future!

Failure is inevitable if you are trying for greatness. Failure is something we must accept as a part of the road we travel to success. This is a very important item, and it’s No. 1 on the list because a lot of what stops people from pursuing success is the fear that they may fail and not reach their destination. When we embrace the fact that we will fail, and that is OK, then we have nothing to fear anymore. Instead, we keep our eyes open and pick ourselves up, adjust from the failure, and move on.

Failure is never failure unless you fail to learn something from it. That’s right; we ought to stop calling these bumps in the road “failures” and start calling them “learning experiences!” When you fail, the first thing you should think is “What can I learn from this?” If you can pull just one idea out of that question, then the experience was worth it.

Sometimes failure is a blessing in disguise. Just ask 3M. They were looking for an incredible adhesive and actually got a sticky paste that held, but not permanently. What a failure! No, instead, they spread some on the back of little sheets of yellow paper and called them “Post-It Notes.” Have some? I’m sure you do. 3M thanks you for rewarding their “failure.”

People won’t think poorly of you if you fail. This is perhaps the biggest myth, and it’s the one that causes us to never attempt our dreams. We don’t try because of what Aunt Martha may say about us at the family reunion. The truth is, however, people will actually respect you for trying. The only thing I have found that people think poorly about you is if you handle yourself badly when you fail. Sore losers get the bad press, not people who attempt great things!

Failure isn’t the end but the beginning. One of our greatest fears is that our whole world will collapse if we fail — or at least the project will. The truth is that that rarely happens! Most of the time we can pick back up again, make some adjustments and be on our way! This is a new beginning. Now, there is no need to go down the road you have already taken, so there is one less option you have to try on your new journey.

Sometimes we miss out on success because we quit in the middle of a problem, and it becomes a failure instead of an obstacle we could have persevered through. When people encounter trouble, they have a tendency to quit and then they see themselves as having failed. My question is this: What if they would have kept on going — if they had persevered? Perhaps they would have struggled a bit and then broken free again. The failure happened only because they quit! So don’t give up. Keep pushing, and perhaps you will see yourself through to victory!

The greatest thing to overcome is the fear of failure. Most of the battle is right between our ears. It has been said that “we have nothing to fear but fear itself,” and that is true because in most of our “failures,” the end result is usually much less than we feared it would be. Yet in giving into fear and not trying, we suffer the ultimate consequence: no success! So begin to tell yourself the good stuff! Change the direction of your thinking and begin to see the possibilities of success, not failure.

Remember, properly looked at, failure can help you further your future!

Chris Widener is the Co-Founder of Made for Success, www.MadeForSuccess.net, a wealth of ongoing motivation and leadership skills training.

Coaching Call to Action

Sit down and think of recent situation that you labeled a “failure”.  Now take some time to consider the situation from the standpoint of learning.  What can you learn from what happened?

Tomorrow, sit down and think about what you are not attempting due to a fear of failure.  What could you do to change your perspective and view this as an opportunity for success?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

While this week’s article is from a book on Managing Up by John Baldoni, I believe it applies to anyone who is a leader (or aspiring to be). Presence, as defined by Dictionary.com, is the ability to project a sense of ease, poise, or self-assurance. One of the top 3 goals of my clients is increasing their presence. It’s not something they teach you in school. These 6 recommendations provide a good place to start.

Quote of the Week

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”
~ Norman Vincent Peale

Leading with Presence

• Give people a reason to believe in you.
• Radiate confidence as well as optimism.
• Exude calmness in the face of adversity.
• Demonstrate passion and commitment for the work.
• Show appreciation for the work of others.
• Teach others by setting the example for emerging leaders to follow (Baldoni, p. 205).

From: Baldoni, John (2010).  Lead Your Boss: The Subtle Art of Managing Up.  New York:  AMACOM

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu.

Coaching Call to Action

As you think about leadership presence it’s helpful to have a picture in your mind of what it looks like. Identify who in your life – friends, family, colleagues, politicians, or people in the news - exhibit leadership presence. This week take a good look at these people. What is it about them that brings their presence forward? What in their style makes it clear they are a leader? Do their actions resonate for you and would they fit for you? If yes, start practicing them. If no, what could you start doing that will bring your presence to the next level?

What’s New?

Thursday, April 29, 2010 – 9 am to 12:15 PM ET
Pounce on a Project

• “I was able to accomplish so much in 3 short hours!“
• “A great motivator to get a project done!“
• “I was able to get past the dread and get the momentum going by just starting!”

What project would you like to get on top of and accomplish this month? Come to Pounce on a Project IV – - 2010. Join me on Thursday, April 29th from 9:00 a.m. to 12:15 p.m. Eastern. We will join as a group by phone and declare what you want to accomplish: starting your spring office clean up, getting your new website finished, or writing an article/blog.

During the morning, the group will gather by phone a few times to check progress and get any support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your lightness and fun and join us for the energization.

To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail me by noon on Wednesday, April 28th. Feel free to share this with friends and co- workers, the more the merrier. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long distance phone calls.)

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

I won’t deny it’s good to prepare. But, when you only look at the negative side of what might happen and get stuck there – ick! Michael Neill’s article this week explains how the problem-solving cycle works, and that the “problem” is our over-reaction to a situation isn’t based in reality, it’s in our imagination. When you catch yourself going down the path of problem generation as an automatic reaction, grab a hold of yourself and redirect-your thoughts.

Quote of the Week

“The way we see the problem is the problem.”
~ Stephen Covey

The Problem of Problem Solving

by Michael Neill

A couple of weeks ago, a marketing expert was shotgunning me with suggestions about what I needed to do to once people had signed up for Supercoach Academy. After listening to him for awhile, somewhat confused by the array of to-do’s he was putting forward, I asked him why he thought I needed to do all those things.

He looked at me curiously. “To prevent buyer’s remorse – after all, research has shown…”

What followed was an in-depth explanation of why this was so important, and suddenly I understood why I hadn’t been understanding him.

“The reason this hasn’t been making any sense,” I explained, “is because you’re trying to help me solve a problem I don’t actually have.”

A few days later, a client was explaining to me his concerns about his big break – his first gig in front of over 1000 people.  He wanted tips on how to find the “extra” confidence to make his performance “really, really, really good”.

I told him that I could share tips with him, but what would make the biggest difference was to have fun and not try to make this performance any different from any of the ones he had done that had led to this opportunity.

As I explained it to him, here’s how the problem-solving cycle usually works:

• Something happens. (In this case, he got offered a great gig.)
• We imagine all the bad things – “problems” – which might happen as a result of it. (In this case, what would happen if he suddenly lost his nerve in front of all those people and “blew his big chance.”)
• We then “problem-solve” by doing things to prevent the bad things we’ve imagined from happening. (In this case, try to learn confidence tricks and techniques to “ensure” that nothing will go wrong.)

The problem is, apart from the original event, nothing’s actually happened except our over-reaction in the physical world to the problems in our imagination!

He didn’t quite seem to get what I meant, I told him the following story:

Imagine that it’s the Wild West and you are surrounded by hostile Indians. Your only hope is if the cavalry comes to save you. Just as you are about to abandon all hope, you hear hoofbeats in the distance and see a lone rider coming towards you at a gallop.

“The bad news is that the cavalry’s not coming. The good news is, this isn’t the Wild West and there aren’t any Indians.”

He laughed, and called me a couple of days later to tell me the gig had gone phenomenally well.

What can we learn from all this?

There will never be enough techniques to solve problems that don’t actually exist.

Have fun, learn heaps, and relax . . . while life will always have its ups and downs, coping with them is inevitably much simpler than you think.

Copyright 2010 Michael Neill, author of ‘You Can Have What You Want’. All rights reserved – read more tips at www.geniuscatalyst.com.

Coaching Call to Action

Where are you imagining problems? This week look at the opportunities on your plate and see them as positive outcomes that are a reflection of the good work you do, your experience and your reputation. A shift in perspective is sometimes all it takes to create even more opportunities

What’s New?

Thursday, February 25, 2010 – 9 am to noon ET
Pounce on a Project

Last month we worked on moving a marketing plan forward, getting email in-boxes cleaned out and completing items on a procrastination list. Here are what a few folks said:

• “Getting started is such a big help and gets you on a roll.”
• “It feels really good to get rid of stuff!”

What project would you like to get on top of and accomplish this month? Come to Pounce on a Project II – - 2010. Join Coach Andrea on Thursday, February 25th from 9:00 a.m. to 12:15 p.m. Eastern. We will join as a group by phone and declare what you want to accomplish: getting taxes ready for the accountant, cleaning out those boxes in the corner, or getting your new website finished.

During the morning, the group will gather by phone a few times to check progress and get any support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your lightness and fun and join us for the energization.

To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail me by noon on Wednesday, February 24th. Feel free to share this with friends and co- workers, the more the merrier. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long distance phone calls.)

Thursday, March 4, 2010 – 7 to 9 PM at Emerson Hospital, Concord, MA
Being Resourceful: Using What You Have to Get Where You Want to Be!

I  will provide tools to capitalize on your resources to achieve the results that are most important to you at Emerson Hospital’s Community Health & Wellness Program. This interactive, thought-provoking program will help you increase your productivity and profitability. To learn more click here.

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