Coach Andrea

Coach Andrea’s Intro

Assumptions can be misleading, get us into trouble with our clients and/or boss and be a big waste of time.  We may think we know what others want us to do, but unless we ask the question, we don’t know for sure and then may spend time working on things that don’t matter.  This week’s Tip by Donald Wetmore provides a great question to ask to gain clarity and direction.

Quote of the Week

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”

The Boss Question

By Dr. Donald E. Wetmore

If you were the vice-president of marketing for a bank, (or any organization for that matter), you would probably want to poll your customers from time to time to determine why they chose to do business with your bank.

We can always assume why our customers do business with us but this can be risky because we may be wrong. What we think we are providing may be opposite to what customers perceive they are receiving. A good question then to ask our customers would be, “How do you know when we are doing a good job for you?”

The answers we receive will probably be all over the lot. Maybe customers think we are doing a good job for them when we provide products and services at the lowest price, or that we are conveniently located, or that we have a friendly staff, or combinations of these and lots of other reasons.

Some years ago, a consulting firm conducted some of this research in the legal field. They questioned attorneys about why clients came to them. At the top of the list, in the attorneys’ views, were issues of competence and skill. “Clients seek me out because I am good at what I do.” At the bottom of the list were soft skills, people skills, and bedside manner issues.

When the consultants polled the attorneys’ clients, they were surprised to discover that clients chose to go to their attorneys for the opposite reasons. Good bedside manners, people skills, communication skills, compassion and concern were among the top reasons why clients selected their attorneys and issues dealing with the attorney’s competence and skill were at the bottom of the list.

If you know why your customers and clients are seeking you out, you can emphasize more of those reasons in your marketing efforts to attract more clients. “Give ‘em what they want, not what you think they need!”

Each of us is the president and sole stockholder of a major corporation, “Me, Inc.”  And, in the context of this discussion, your major customer is your boss. Your boss has a lot of control over your future raises and promotions. Why not ask the “Boss Question”, similar to what we would ask our customers and clients, “Boss, how do you know when I am doing a good job for you?”

It is easy and risky for us to assume what the answers might be. For example, you may assume your boss thinks you are doing a good job when you are innovative and creative, coming up with new ideas. The boss, however, may be threatened by all that and feel more comfortable when you do not rock the boat. You may assume that the boss is comfortable with your performance when there are no complaints (no news is good news). But the boss may measure your performance on the number of unsolicited compliments he receives from others about how well you are doing your job.

Some feel uncomfortable raising the “Boss Question.” The problem is it is a question that will have to be addressed sooner or later. For many, it is addressed “later”, at an annual review when you discover that you did not get the raise or advancement you thought you were entitled to because for the last year you had been going down a path opposite to the boss’ desires. Productivity and success are stolen again from you, not because you were not working hard enough but because of a miscommunication that kept you from delivering what your customer really wanted.

I think it’s a good idea to ask the “Boss Question” several times throughout the year as the boss’ expectations can change and we need to always be moving forward together on the same wave-length.

Copyright (c) 2013 all rights reserved.  Don Wetmore can be reached at http://www.balancetime.com

Coaching Call To Action

Whether you are a business owner or an employee, take time this week to learn from your clients or your boss.  Find out what they mean by doing a good job.  Gain clarity and then create a plan to make it happen.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Is someone at work pushing your buttons?  Does this lead you to frustration and anger?  This week’s Tip describes a simple process to follow that changes your reaction and the outcome.

Quote of the Week

“The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes–ah, that is where the art resides!”

~ Arthur Schnabel

Business Coaching and the Power of the Pause

By Andrea Novakowski

Cara was a manager at a Providence, RI consulting firm who could always be counted on to get the job done. She had a hard-driving style that got results, and her boss recognized how valuable she was to the company. Then one day Cara walked in and discovered she had a new manager, one who didn’t appreciate her take-no-prisoners approach.

Suddenly, what was once applauded was now being penalized.

No matter where she turned, she found herself in continual conflict with her new boss. Every meeting ended in a heated discussion. Every day was an exercise in frustration. Cara called me to help her decide if it was time to leave the company.

We used the PaperRoom System to determine that Cara was getting more than 80 percent of her needs met at her current job. Obviously, quitting wasn’t the solution. She had to figure out a way to work with her new manager.

Communication with your boss can be a challenging thing, especially when your styles clash. Cara and I tackled the problem by using a simple diagram from the book 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done by business coach and consultant Peter Bregman.

According to Bregman, here’s how most conflict plays out:

Event => Reaction => Outcome

Someone says or does something that pushes your buttons (event). You respond with anger or frustration (reaction). This leads to an undesirable outcome. For Cara, it was wasted time and energy, not to mention the stress of arguing with her supervisor.
I showed Cara how to recognize this dynamic and change it to yield more productive results:

Event => Outcome => Reaction

First, Cara determined which part of her boss’s behavior triggered her negative reaction.  Next, she paused and envisioned the outcome she wanted: not a battle with her boss, but more appreciation for her contribution to the company and more responsibility. She saw her typical reaction wasn’t producing this result. So she changed her reaction.

As you might expect, that part can be tricky. How do you pause in the heat of the moment, rather than responding automatically to provocation? Cara determined three actions that worked for her:

• Calm down by counting to 10 in her head.
• Agree with what her manager is saying in the moment, then circle back for a more complete conversation when he is calmer.
• Observe how other people manage her boss when he gets worked up.

Over the next two months Cara practiced her new strategies. She became more aware of her manager’s behavior and trained herself to respond differently. She and her boss started having more productive meetings. In our last phone call, Cara was thrilled to report she’d been invited by her manager to work with him on a special project!

Do you have a manager, co-worker, or employee who rubs you the wrong way? If your conflict with this person doesn’t produce the outcome you want, it may be time to visualize the outcome you do want — and then change your reaction to make it happen.

Coaching Call To Action

This week plan for the potentially contentious interactions on your calendar. You know which ones I mean.  What is the outcome that you want?  What will you do differently to get that outcome?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Whether you own your own company, manage others or are an individual contributor, you have a “boss.” Your boss may be your board of directors, your clients, and/or your manager.  No matter which category applies to you, this week’s Tip provides a great checklist for making your boss love you!

Quote of the Week

“Only the curious will learn and only the resolute overcome the obstacles to learning. The quest quotient has always excited me more than the intelligence quotient.”

~ Eugene S. Wilson

Seven Ways to Make Sure Your Boss Thinks You’re Doing a Great Job

By Penelope Trunk

1. Know your boss’s priorities. If your boss is a numbers person, quantify all your results.  If your boss is a customer-is-first kind of guy, frame all your results in terms of benefits to the customer.
2. Say no. Say yes to things that matter most to your boss.  Say no to most everything else, and your boss will appreciate that you are focused on her needs.
3. Communicate the way your boss does. If your boss likes e-mail, use it.  If your boss prefers voice mail, phone in your updates.  Convey information to your boss in the way she likes so that she’s more likely to retain it.
4. Toot your own horn. Each time you do something that impacts the company let your boss know.  Whatever the mechanism, you need to let your boss know each time you achieve something that matters to her.
5. Lunch with your boss. If all things are equal, your boss will promote the person she likes the best.  So go out to lunch and talk about what interests her.
6. Seek new responsibilities. Find important holes in your department before your boss notices them.  Take responsibility for filling those holes and your boss will appreciate your foresight, but also your ability to do more than your job.
7. Be curious. Remember to take time to read and listen.  Then ask questions when they are not expected; you will make yourself more interesting to be around, and you will elicit fresh ideas from everyone around you.  Your boss will feel like having you on the team improves everyone’s work – even his own – and, after all, that is your primary job in managing up (Trunk, 2007, p. 145-147).

From: Trunk, P. (2007). Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success.  New York:  Warner Business Books.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu

Coaching Call To Action

One of my readers responded to last week’s Tip, Success is Supposed to Be Fun and Rewarding, sharing that she had not been aligned with her boss’s priorities and goals and was not feeling the love.  If you are in a similar situation or want to ensure you don’t get there, take time this week to put two to three of these ideas into action.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Don’t you, as the owner of your business (or manager of others), love it when your employees demonstrate initiative? It makes it easier for you to focus on the aspects of your work that are most important.

Unfortunately, we sometimes don’t realize initiative is what’s needed or don’t know how to communicate it. This week’s Tip by Dondi Scumaci provides talking points and guidelines for you to share with your employees to make both of you more effective.

Quote of the Week

Seven Ways to Demonstrate Extreme Initiative

By Dondi Scumaci

1. Make it unnecessary for your boss to ask. Initiate follow-up and demonstrate follow-through with your assignments and projects. Make sure your boss doesn’t have to chase you down and search you out to get an update and check on a deadline.
2. Communicate goals and priorities. Give your boss a copy of your action plan at the beginning of each week. Highlight your top priorities and deliverables. At the end of the week, debrief your results.
3. Adopt a ‘no surprises’ policy. Bosses really do hate surprises when it comes to issues and results. Make it a personal policy that your boss will never be surprised by bad news.
4. Present solutions. When you bring your boss issues, bring options and recommendations to go with them.
5. Ask for more. Ask for a more challenging assignment. Volunteer to work on a special project.
6. Adapt to your boss’s communication style. Does your boss prefer the highlights or the details? Does she like to be updated by e-mail, voice mail, or in person? Does your boss enjoy casual conversation, or does she hope and pray you will get to the point soon? Adjust your communication style to match these preferences and watch your credibility grow.
7. Find a need and adopt a cause. Look for a corporate cause and get behind it. Be the voice for something that will make the organization and the people in it better (Scumaci, 2008, p.129-130).

From: Scumaci, Dondi (2008). Designed for success. Lake Mary, FL: Excel Books.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu

Coaching Call To Action

This week look at how you may be hindering your employees’ initiative. What new information will you provide to them to help your employees develop their initiative?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Today’s Coaching Tip is applicable to business owners and the people they manage. If you want a stronger organization, have your managers fight for their ideas. It makes them stronger, more thoughtful and more valuable. If you are a manager pitching your boss, know that “no” is part of your test for growth. Sheds a whole new light on the situation.

Quote of the Week

“Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.“
~ Author Samuel Johnson

Go Along With The No

by John Baldoni

Organizations are made stronger by people lobbying for what they believe in. We need managers with backbone to stand up for what they believe, otherwise they are simply ticket punchers, or yes people who prefer to roll with the tide. Some managers simply say no the first time to every proposal that comes their way, not because they are negative or contrary, but because they want to test the mettle of the person proposing the idea. They, like General Eisenhower, understand that “it’s not the size of the dog that matters, but rather the size of the dog in the fight.” If you want it, fight for it, and in the process show us what you and your idea or project can do for the organization.

Few of us will get many points for giving up. “Defeating those negative instincts that are out to defeat us is the difference between winning and losing,” said Olympic athlete and civil rights pioneer, Jesse Owens. “And we face that battle every day of our lives.” Perseverance and persistence for the right issue and the right cause is a matter of leadership (Baldoni, p. 165).

Baldoni, J. (2010). Lead Your Boss: The Subtle Art of Managing Up. New York: AMACOM

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu.

Coaching Call To Action

Where are you giving in too easily? What would happen if you were more persistent? This week choose an issue of importance to you and stick to your guns more than your norm. What happens?

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