Coach Andrea

Coach Andrea’s Intro

As a reforming workaholic, I sometimes forget about my well-being. This week’s Tip by Michael Neill introduces the concept of standards and how they can help determine your behavior at work and in life.

Quote of the Week

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass.

– Terri Guillemets

A Question of Standards

By Michael Neill

I had a particularly interesting conversation with a coaching client this week. We were speaking about his ongoing sense that no matter how much progress he was making, it was still with a sense of six steps forward, five steps back. As he launched into another example of losing his bearings and getting stressed and wound up at work for the umpteenth time, it suddenly dawned on me that the problem wasn’t to do with a lack of knowledge or some inherent inability to fully grasp the import of what we were talking about – it was a question of standards.

A “standard”, as I am using the word, is an arbitrary line in the sand that determines what we consider to be acceptable and unacceptable in our world. When our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, or circumstances drop below a certain standard, it automatically triggers compensatory action on our part. As long as we remain at or above our current standard for something, it receives no further attention.

In this particular client’s case, it was very clear that he had a very high standard around work ethic.  Days blended into evenings and weeks into weekends if there were still things to do on his list, and no amount of coaxing would convince him that it was OK to just not do the work if it was there to be done.

Similarly, he had an extremely high standard around customer care, which is one of the things that had always impressed me about him. Whereas someone with a lower standard might consider that if a customer wasn’t complaining, they were happy, in his world the duty of the company is to look out for the best interests of the customer no matter what. While he stopped short of trying to force the customer’s hand in a particular direction, It would simply be unacceptable that that same customer might suffer when they had their eye off the ball, even if every court in the land would place the blame and responsibility firmly in that customer’s lap.

But, I pointed out to him, he had an extremely low standard for well-being. That is, he was perfectly willing to push himself beyond the pale for weeks at a time before it would even occur to him that maybe feelings of stress and pressure followed swiftly on by bouts of overeating and drinking might be subtle or even blatant indications of a drop in his overall level of peace, contentment, and well-being.

He quickly acknowledged the point, and immediately set about looking for ways to apply his high-level work ethic to the “problem” of raising his levels of well-being. Yet after some further discussion, it became apparent to both of us that standards are not the same as goals – once set, there is absolutely nothing to be done willfully in order to bring them about.

In the same way as water seeks its level, standards act as a kind of invisible magnet, automatically filtering our attention and directing our actions in their direction. If we are trying too hard to meet our own standards, it’s simply an indication that they’re not yet set – they’re more aspirational than actual.

While this is very much an ongoing exploration, what I’ve seen so far is that our standards set and reset themselves as we grow in awareness and consciousness. In other words, once I truly see the cost of a low standard for well-being, it automatically goes up and in time, my behavior will change accordingly. Whereas once it seemed perfectly normal for me to feel stressed for weeks at a time, my stress tolerance has reduced to the point where I can’t go much more than a few minutes before I’m pulling back to let my thinking settle before moving forward with whatever it is that I’m doing.

That reduced tolerance for stress is a sign of a higher standard for well-being. And since all standards are internal and arbitrary – that is, we make up our standards for ourselves, consciously or unconsciously and independent of any external authority or measure – our standard for well-being as individuals and as a society can continue to rise over time.

Michael Neill, Author of “Supercoach- 10 Secrets to Transform Anyone’s Life.”   Supercoach.com

Coaching Call To Action

I know I need to raise my standard of well-being.  To start, I’m thinking about what that means to me.  Next, I’ll put a plan in place to start (or stop) doing something to start the process.  How about you?  Where in your work or life do you want to raise your standards?  What does that look like for you?  What is the first step you will take to start raising the bar? 

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

The topic of balance has been coming up in a number of recent coaching calls. Questions posed are:  Is there such a thing? How do I get more of it? As a business owner/CEO, don’t I get to design my day? This week’s Tip by Todd Duncan makes the assertion that you are never actually balanced.  Bummer!  Read below to find out why.

Quote of the Week

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”

The Art of Purposeful Imbalance

By Todd Duncan

Famed tightrope walker Tino Wallenda and his family, the Flying Wallendas, have been walking on high wires without nets for nearly a century. When asked how he maintains balance on a wire with nothing but earth beneath him, Tino gently corrects the assumption: “The reality is that you are never actually balanced; you are constantly making small adjustments – moving back and forth – and it’s those constant movements that keep you on the wire. The truth is, if you stand still, you fall.”

The same is true of harmonizing our personal and professional worlds. You are never actually balanced, nor should you try to be. To ensure a more harmonious existence, you must keep yourself moving – carefully teetering and tottering between work and life activities. Like a tightrope walker, you must regularly make adjustments back and forth to keep standing. The key is being purposeful, having sound reasons for everything you do (Duncan, p. xi).

From: Duncan, T. (2010). Life on the wire: avoid burnout and succeed in work and life. Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu/

Coaching Call To Action

Are you being purposeful in your activities and focus?  What is your process for being purposeful?

What’s New?

Thursday, November 29, 2012 – 9 am to noon  EST
Pounce on a Project IV

You have two more months to complete the goals you created for 2012. What project would you like to get on top of and accomplish this month that will help you hit those goals? Come to Pounce on a Project IV – - 2012.

Join me on Thursday, November 29th, from 9:00 a.m. to noon Eastern. We will join as a group by phone and declare what you want to accomplish: marketing calls to hit your numbers, adding a shopping cart to your website, or cleaning your office so you can find the goals you created in January.

During the morning, the group will gather by phone a few times to check progress and get any support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your lightness and fun and join us for energy and focus.

To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail me by noon on Wednesday, November 28th. Feel free to share this with friends and co-workers, the more the merrier. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long distance phone calls.)

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

This week’s Tip has you stop and reflect on the first half of the year.  Using the questions, consider what you have accomplished. It’s enlightening and energizing!

Quote of the Week

“Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix.”

~ Christina Baldwin

You’ve Come A Long Way – Even If You Don’t Think So

By Andrea Novakowski

Can it be we’re halfway through the year already? My business coaching clients always like it when we pause at this point to assess how far they’ve come since January.  It’s a chance for us to acknowledge all the good work they’ve been doing.  Yes, it’s easy to focus on what you haven’t accomplished, but I prefer to focus instead on what my clients have achieved so far.

Give it a try.  Here are the questions I asked my clients this year, inspired by a similar questionnaire created by author and coach Cheryl Richardson.  After each question, I’ve included a response or insight shared by one of my clients.  Names and identifying details have been changed.

I hope these questions have gotten you thinking about what you’ve already accomplished this year – and maybe have even re-energized you during these hot summer days. Pat yourself on the back! Now, where can you take a step forward for the remainder of the year?

Coaching Call To Action

I hope you had some great insights when you answered these 6 questions.  Want to inspire someone else?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts on Facebook below.

What’s New?

Thursday, August 16, 2012 – 9 am to noon EDT
The Return of Pounce on a Project

I’m inspired by all of the steps my clients have been taking this year!  I know I have to spend some time decluttering my office.  I’m going to do some prep work by creating a vision of what I want the room to look like.  During Pounce, I will start the hands on work.  What project would you like to get on top of and accomplish this month? Come to Pounce on a Project I – - 2012.

Join Coach Andrea on Thursday, August 16th, from 9:00 a.m. to noon Eastern. We will join as a group by phone and declare what you want to accomplish: marketing calls to hit your numbers, adding a shopping cart to your website, or cleaning your office so you can find the goals you created in January.

During the morning, the group will gather by phone a few times to check progress and get any support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your lightness and fun and join us for the energization.

To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail me by noon on Wednesday, August 15th. Feel free to share this with friends and co-workers, the more the merrier. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long distance phone calls.)

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Spring is a great time for us as leaders to look at ourselves and see what we can do to improve ourselves.  Chris Widener’s article will encourage you to do just that!

Quote of the Week

“Walk through life eager and open to self-improvement and that which is going to best help you evolve, because that’s really why we are here: to evolve as human beings.”

~ Oprah Winfrey

Spring Cleaning for Leaders!

By Chris Widener

Many of us are up to our eyeballs in spring cleaning around the house and yard, but how many of us give ourselves a personal and professional “spring cleaning?” Here are some ideas for us to clean out the old stuff so we can put in the new stuff for spring and achieve the kind of excellence we are looking for in our lives.

1. Kick the habits. Okay, just how much do our habits affect us? Too much. It goes way beyond our own sense of personal guilt, though that should be enough reason to kick our bad habits. Instead, our habits are usually out there enough that our family and co-workers, including our boss, are acutely aware of them – and driven nuts by them. This in turn affects your ability to get ahead and achieve your dreams. Do yourself a favor, and do what it takes to kick your bad habits!
2. Reconcile relationships. Take a look at three relationships that aren’t what they should be or aren’t what they used to be. Remember, relationships are the most important and precious of the gifts we have here on earth, so make an effort to get them in line. I have found in most cases, a simple phone call or lunch where I express the thought that I would like to improve the relationship, be it personal or professional, goes a long way.
3. Get your finances in order. It is one thing to grumble, worry and complain. It is another to do something about it. Take some time this week to get a financial plan in order. In fact, pull out your calendar and schedule that time before you move to number 4. Be specific, and give yourself some goals and deadlines.
4. Get in shape. Winter is over and the sun is starting to shine. Now your last excuse is GONE! If nothing else, walk a few times a week. I read recently that if the average person were to walk 2 miles 3 times a week for a year, they would lose 14 pounds without even changing their diet. Remember that this is the only body you get – take care of it, for yourself and your family.
5. Learn something. One of the key characteristics of successful people is that they are learners. Why not take this fresh start we call spring and make a commitment to learn something new? Take a class, pick up a book, or, if you are really pressed for time, enroll in what Zig Zigler calls “Automobile University.” That is, buy some personal or professional audio tapes and learn while you drive. And if you don’t want to spend the money, I have found that the library has hundreds of these tapes.
6. Reconnect with your spiritual side. I love spring because it symbolizes new life. I also love pursuing spiritual things because they breathe new life into me. We are spiritual people and to not strengthen that aspect of our lives is to operate like a three legged stool – we’ll always be tipping over!
7. Pursue recreation. All work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy – and Suzie a dull girl. Remember that recreation is to “re-create.” Because all of the work and stress of daily life works to break us down, we need to put a little fun back into the day so we are strengthened the next time we get back into the ring. Take some time off, do something fun, exciting, and exhilarating! Get rid of the stress and prepare yourself for the next hurdle.

Chris Widener is the President of Chris Widener International. www.ChrisWidener.com Chris can be reached at Chris@MadeForSuccess.com

Coaching Call To Action

This week’s Tip includes many ideas for the different parts of your life.  Choose one area that you want to focus on this spring so that come summer you can say, “I did it!  I made this change and this is the impact it has had.”

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Adrenaline is robbing us of our health. If you run on adrenaline, please consider other ways to get energized.  In this week’s Tip, Steve Straus provides healthy alternatives to adrenaline.

Quote of the Week

“This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men.”

~ Captain J. A. Hadfield

Beyond Adrenaline

By Steve Straus

Adrenaline has its benefits. And its costs.

Great outcomes have been accomplished using the adrenaline tool. It is one of the most popular drugs-of-choice for driven achievers. A source of ready energy, it provides focus, is cheap to acquire, and easy to use. Also, you don’t need to do deals in dark back alleys, you’re your own drug dealer!

Need some? Leave late for an important meeting.

Need more? Under-prepare for that meeting.

A little more? Fear not getting what you want.

Your ability to create the adrenaline you need, when you need it, is huge. But at what cost?

Like any stimulant, the use of adrenaline requires a balancing of the scales. Your physical system experiences a crash and needs recovery time.

The focusing which adrenaline can provide may act as blinders and cause you to miss available resources. And someone hyped-up on adrenaline attracts similar people. Adrenaline is expensive.

Rather than suggest that you simply give up adrenaline, how about replacing it with healthier forms of energy? Such as passion. Such as clarity of purpose. Look for the joy in situations rather than possible negative consequences.

An often overlooked resource is to pause and revel in your intermediate wins. Adrenaline junkies tend to focus only on the big payoff at the end, but there is plenty of healthy energy available from the incremental victories along the way.

Copyright 2012 Steve Straus. All rights reserved. Steve Straus can be contacted at http://www.StrausUSA.com.

Coaching Call To Action

Who can help you remove the adrenaline needle and move beyond it, permanently?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

While it’s been a mild winter for us New Englanders, spring fever can still hit when the sun is strong and temperatures start to rise. Here in Massachusetts, the thermometers registered 70 on Monday.  This week’s Tip by Don Wetmore, Time Management Guru, advises what to do when you are bitten by spring fever. Remember, his work is about being more productive!

Quote of the Week

“A little Madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King.”

~ Emily Dickinson

Spring Fever

By Dr. Donald E. Wetmore

You develop your jam packed “to do” list the night before. You awake to the new day ready to conquer the world. But the sun is shining after a long winter. It warms your soul. The birds are singing and the fresh scent of new flowers breaking ground is all around you.

Ouch! You just got bitten by the spring fever bug and all the ambition of your plans from the night before go out the window as you proceed to fill your day with unimportant stuff like shuffling piles of paper and dusting your desk again and again. Sound familiar? It should because it happens to all of us from time to time.

When you get bitten by the spring fever bug, one of two things will happen.

First, you may give in to it, blow off the day and then feel guilty about it. Or second, you will give in to it, blow off the day and feel good about it. Either way, you’re going to give in to it.

What to do, then? Give into it, blow off the day and feel good about it.

The spring fever bug bites you for a reason. You are not some robot or machine. You need an occasional break from the stresses of high performance. Give in to it. Blow off the day.

Now, if you have made commitments to others about getting something done today then you have to honor that obligation and let the spring fever bug come back another day. But most of the things you have to do can probably be pushed off to another day. Give into it. Blow off the day.

Think about this. Will your overall productive output for the year be greatly diminished because you took a goof off day in March? One day lost out of 365? Probably not.

When you get the bite, give in to it. Use the day to recharge your batteries while taking time out to literally smell the flowers around you.

But what if every day you get bitten by the spring fever bug? Then you’ve got a problem. But every now and again? Take advantage of it. Your overall productivity will be enhanced in the long run.

Copyright (c) 2012 all rights reserved.  Don Wetmore can be reached at http://www.balancetime.com

Coaching Call To Action

See you at the park!

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

I’ve just come back from a week of vacation where my time was very fluid. My husband and I agreed that we would spend the week as if we were retired. Fun! Lots of Self and Inspiring time that Simon Tyler speaks of below. I chose not to participate in Drain time. Now that I’m back at work, I’m going to put time on my calendar for Self and Inspiring so that I continue investing my time wisely.

Quote of the Week

“You have to allow a certain amount of time in which you are doing nothing in order to have things occur to you, to let your mind think.”
~Mortimer Adler

The Return on Investment of Your Time

by Simon Tyler

Many of my clients have such packed schedules; they feel like they are being whipped along in a fast flowing river, with little power to change direction. A frequent result is that some weeks they feel good (and inspired), others they feel bad (and drained) and all points in between. Are you fatalistically allowing the river and its course to have control?

Becoming more deliberate about where you invest YOUR time can in effect become a tiller to steer your journey along your river.

Where do you spend your time?

What is the impact on you during those investments?

Take last week. Let’s say, for arguments sake, you worked 50 hours, what is the split of your time across the following investment categories:

• Self - time in your own space, unhindered, uninterrupted, focused or unfocused, reflecting or in action, just time with you.




• Inspiring – with people or in places that inspire or motivate you, which cause you to think differently, garner new ideas, or feed your reflective time.




• The Turf – with people or in places that is your current ‘turf’, you know it, occasionally challenging, mostly in control of the situation.




• Drain – with people, or places, or tasks that simply take your energy levels right down.

It doesn’t take Sherlock to make the link between your time investment and the feel good or feel bad result.

Become aware, then shift your schedule, minimize ‘Drain’ time immediately. Increasing ‘Inspiring’ time takes a little extra thought and effort, seeking out opportunities. This happens in ‘Self’ time – get some of that, now!

Good luck and keep it simple.

Simon Tyler is one of the world’s leading business coaches. His work simplifies the lives of business leaders and owners. He is an incisive consultant, inspirational writer, provocative public speaker and master facilitator. To learn more about Simon, visit http://simontyler.com.

Coaching Call To Action

Where will you add “Self and Inspiring” time on your calendar this week? If you are already providing this time for yourself, I’d love to hear what you are doing.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Ah, December! The time of holiday cheer and forecasting, budgeting, assessing, and completing your year end goals. The pressure is on. This week’s Tip by Simon Tyler reminds us of the benefit of taking time for a simple meditation and the steps to do it. Deep breath in and out and count 1…

Quote of the Week

“If you neglect to recharge a battery, it dies. And if you run full speed ahead without stopping for water, you lose momentum to finish the race.”
~ Oprah Winfrey

Simple Meditation for the Busy Leader

by Simon Tyler

Living in Coachland, as I do, meditation is a much talked about technique for relaxing the mind and accessing more of one’s hidden potential. For years, I resisted the concept of meditation as requiring incense, a cross legged posture and Tibetan bowls, to which I was skeptical and under-resourced.

What I have learnt though is the power of simply STOPPING for even the shortest period of time. Brain research suggests body time to be 1/16th the speed of mind time, so it is absolutely not surprising that we can get utterly entangled in multiple thinking, loosing focus and, often serious fatigue.

Simple meditation is just that. It doesn’t have to have all the associated articles, although they will of course enhance the experience. It is about stopping the conscious activity for as little as 2 minutes.

Here’s a way to introduce simple meditation into your schedule this week:

• Breathe in and out naturally but slowly. Count up to 10 (sets of an inhale and an exhale), then count back down to 1.

• Just concentrate on your breathing, nothing else, let the thoughts come and go (go back to counting the breathing).

That’s it!

The busier you are the more difficult this challenge will be, but the greater the impact you will experience.

To astound yourself with what this stopping process can cause, repeat at the same time each day for a week (get your mind and body used to the time and place).

Keep it simple,
Simon

PS – I now love incense, still can’t sit cross legged and haven’t bought Tibetan bowls yet.

Simon Tyler is one of the world’s leading business coaches. His work simplifies the lives of business leaders and owners. He is an incisive consultant, inspirational writer, provocative public speaker and master facilitator. To learn more about Simon, visit http://simontyler.com.

Coaching Call To Action

Today, my morning pace was starting to get frenetic. So, I thought, what the heck, I’ll try Simon’s suggestion for two minutes. I caught myself before I set my timer and just closed my eyes and started breathing. It was a lovely gift to myself. Calming. I easily was able to pick up where I left off and with more energy. Will you try taking breathing breaks (simple meditation) this week? What difference does it make for you?

Gift Certificates Available

Looking for a unique gift for a friend, colleague or family member? Giving the gift of coaching partners the recipient with a professional coach with real world experience.  Your gift provides one-on-one coaching to help them sift through their conflicting priorities and demands, determine what’s most important and take action.  The coaching will help them focus, gain clarity, problem solve, and get results.  What better gift is there to give someone you care about!

Customized coaching packages available. Please email Andrea@CoachAndrea.com for additional information.

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Quote of the Week

“One simple change in your daily self-care practices has the power to change everything – even your destiny. Without deliberate ongoing practice, nothing changes.”
Sandy Davis

A Note From Andrea

Great Aunt Grace’s Six Daily Rules to Live By

by Alexander M. (Sandy) Davis

Becky Tracy, a longstanding friend and fellow musician, recently came across the six daily rules by which her Great Aunt Grace lived. Knowing that I would resonate with them, she kindly sent them to me. With her permission, I would like to share them with you. Here they are:

Great Aunt Grace’s Six Daily Rules to Live By:

1. Do something for someone else
2. Do something for myself
3. Do something I don’t want to do but needs doing
4. Do a physical exercise
5. Do a mental exercise
6. Do an original prayer that always includes counting my blessings

Great Aunt Grace’s motto was: “Bloom where you are planted.” Becky tells me that “her other gem” was a recipe for a bath soak which included the instructions to “lie in the bath with the eyes closed and do not think while soaking.” She lived to the age of 103.

Wow!

Becky was correct that I feel a strong connection with her Great Aunt Grace. I find it remarkable that Grace’s six daily rules so closely parallel my “modern day” prescription for taking great care of your body, your mind, and your spirit. In order to nourish these three aspects of her being, Grace framed up her own simple set of daily self-care practices. The ones she chose for herself are virtually the same as the ones I have found to work so reliably and consistently.

For the benefit of her mind, she did a “mental exercise” every day, and also intentionally stopped “thinking” while soaking in the tub. I call that a “daily centering practice.”

For the benefit of her body, she made it a practice to do physical exercise every day. I concur that this is a vital daily practice.

And for the benefit of her spirit, she had a daily practice of praying every day-but with an inspiring twist. She held herself accountable to “do an original prayer” every day. She understood the value of continuously tapping into her own creativity so as to keep herself moving forward, discovering, and growing. I call that a “daily creative practice.”

The combination of Rules #1 and #2 suggests that Great Aunt Grace also understood the interdependency of taking good care of yourself and taking good care of others. Because you cannot give what you do not have, you must start with yourself. (I call this “Pay yourself first so that you can then pay it forward.”)

Rule #3 suggests that Grace espoused the value of not making any excuses. In challenging herself to do something every day that she didn’t want to do “but needed doing,” she set herself up to “just do it” day-in and day-out. No excuses.

I find it noteworthy that all six of Grace’s daily rules start with the verb to “do.” She understood that in order to create the results you want to create, you have to take action. She knew that there are no shortcuts, and that it was her own choice and her own responsibility to live by the Six Daily Rules she had set for herself.

My gift to you during these year-end holidays is to “pay forward” the gift that Becky just gave to me. Great Aunt Grace’s Six Daily Rules have re-inspired me to continue to honor my own commitments to daily self-care, and to leading a life in which I touch countless others in positive ways. May Great Aunt Grace inspire (or re-inspire) you, as well, to take great care of yourself every single day, and to lead a healthy, productive, and meaningful life until you’re at least 100.

Time now for me to go draw a bath and soak for a while-without thinking. You can, too.

Copyright © 2010 Alexander M. (Sandy) Davis. To find out more about Sandy Davis and the resilience-related manuals and services he offers, visit http://www.ResilienceWorks.com. To subscribe to his free monthly e-newsletter, send an e-mail to Subscribe@ResilienceWorks.com. FYI, he’s “The Resilience Guy.”

Self-care action for the week: Take a bath! Really! When was the last time you took a bath? Prior to reading Sandy’s article, it was 4 years for me! Showers, sure, but baths – nope. (I had to take baths in 2005 because I couldn’t stand up and balance for showers. I had broken my ankle when I was out running with my dogs. But that’s a whole other story.) I find that taking a bath warms your enitre body, is wonderfully relaxing and helps you to sleep through the night. Try it.

Ideas and Information

The Resilience Manual: How to Thrive in Stressful Times by Sandy Davis

The subtitle is: “Seven Simple Self-Care Structures that Increase Your Ability to Prosper Come What May.” If you are interested in learning more about Sandy’s work, this simple and clearly written manual presents his straightforward methodology for developing and sustaining your own personal resilience. The manual presents precisely what you need to know so that you can immediately start to take better care of yourself, become more “resilient-ready,” and enjoy life a whole lot more. To learn more go to www.ResilienceWorks.com.

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