Coach Andrea

Coach Andrea’s Intro

As a business leader, you can sometimes get impatient with the person across the table from you if they talk too slowly or take too long to get to the point.  Your communication habit can have an adverse effect on your business. This week, Loren Ekroth shares how your habits can impact others and how to change those habits.

Quote of the Week

“The strange thing about habits is that because we perform them unconsciously, we aren’t always aware exactly what they are.”

How to Break or Change a Conversation Habit

By Loren Ekroth, Ph.D.

Do you have a conversation habit you want to eliminate? Perhaps you’ve been told about a habit that damages the flow of conversation, such as:

 Here are suggestions for changing unwanted habits:

1. Suppression doesn’t work. Trying just to stop yourself from doing what you’ve done automatically and unconsciously thousands of times is a fool’s errand.

2. Instead, substitute a new behavior to replace (or reduce the power of) an unwanted behavior. Example, instead of rehearsing what you’re planning to say, focus on the person talking by asking questions.

“Think of the bad habit you want to change like a river that’s been following the same course for a long time. Now you want to stop it suddenly. You can’t just dam the river because the water will rise up and break through. Instead, you have to encourage the river to take a different course. In order to break the old habit, the attempt needs to be paired with making a new habit.”

–Jeremy Dean, “Making Habits, Breaking Habits,” (2012)

It’s easier to substitute a new habit than to extinguish an old one. An example: Chewing gum has proven to help stop smoking (gum in the mouth instead of a cigarette or pipe.)

If the substitute habit has a good pay-off for your effort (such as improving your relationships), reminding yourself of the pay-off can motivate you to persevere.

3.Use a tool as a reminder. Example: Talk too much? Use a 3-minute sand timer as a measure. Before the sand runs out, stop talking. Another tool: Wear your watch on the other wrist as a reminder you’re trying something different.

4. “Buddy up” with a friend who agrees to signal you when your unwanted habit appears. Best if you both act as coaches to each other when you’re both working on making a specific change. Example: Fellow members in Toastmasters Clubs help one another eliminate “filled pauses” (ahs and umms) for public speaking by having one member keep and report a count.

5. Change your physical context. If you meet to talk in a library or church, you’ll usually talk more slowly, thoughtfully, and softly. When you change your social context and talk with persons who model the behavior you desire, you’re less likely to continue your bad habits.

To re-cap:

1. Work on one habit at a time.
2. Don’t suppress, substitute.
3. Make use of tools. 
4. Friends can coach one another.

Finally, even one small change can have big, positive effects. A salesperson who substitutes genuine inquiry for telling increases commissions. A husband who replaces scattered attention with patient listening rescues a marriage. An employee who offers quality questions instead of interrupting at meetings keeps her job.

When you change, your world changes.

From “Better Conversations” newsletter by Loren Ekroth.  Reprinted with permission. Copyright 2013. All Rights reserved. Dr.  Ekroth is creator of information products to improve conversation, such as “Small Talk Success Tips” and a free newsletter at www.ConversationMatters.com. 

Coaching Call To Action

What one communication habit do you want to change?  What will you substitute instead?  What tool will you use?  Share with us below. 

What’s New?

Tip Tidbits Tie It All Together

Have you noticed that the “Tip of the Week” is not actually limited to just this one email you receive on Fridays? If a particular Tip resonates for you, be sure to tune in to my pages on Facebook or LinkedIn over the following week to find daily articles and information related to that same topic!

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

As a reforming workaholic, I sometimes forget about my well-being. This week’s Tip by Michael Neill introduces the concept of standards and how they can help determine your behavior at work and in life.

Quote of the Week

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass.

– Terri Guillemets

A Question of Standards

By Michael Neill

I had a particularly interesting conversation with a coaching client this week. We were speaking about his ongoing sense that no matter how much progress he was making, it was still with a sense of six steps forward, five steps back. As he launched into another example of losing his bearings and getting stressed and wound up at work for the umpteenth time, it suddenly dawned on me that the problem wasn’t to do with a lack of knowledge or some inherent inability to fully grasp the import of what we were talking about – it was a question of standards.

A “standard”, as I am using the word, is an arbitrary line in the sand that determines what we consider to be acceptable and unacceptable in our world. When our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, or circumstances drop below a certain standard, it automatically triggers compensatory action on our part. As long as we remain at or above our current standard for something, it receives no further attention.

In this particular client’s case, it was very clear that he had a very high standard around work ethic.  Days blended into evenings and weeks into weekends if there were still things to do on his list, and no amount of coaxing would convince him that it was OK to just not do the work if it was there to be done.

Similarly, he had an extremely high standard around customer care, which is one of the things that had always impressed me about him. Whereas someone with a lower standard might consider that if a customer wasn’t complaining, they were happy, in his world the duty of the company is to look out for the best interests of the customer no matter what. While he stopped short of trying to force the customer’s hand in a particular direction, It would simply be unacceptable that that same customer might suffer when they had their eye off the ball, even if every court in the land would place the blame and responsibility firmly in that customer’s lap.

But, I pointed out to him, he had an extremely low standard for well-being. That is, he was perfectly willing to push himself beyond the pale for weeks at a time before it would even occur to him that maybe feelings of stress and pressure followed swiftly on by bouts of overeating and drinking might be subtle or even blatant indications of a drop in his overall level of peace, contentment, and well-being.

He quickly acknowledged the point, and immediately set about looking for ways to apply his high-level work ethic to the “problem” of raising his levels of well-being. Yet after some further discussion, it became apparent to both of us that standards are not the same as goals – once set, there is absolutely nothing to be done willfully in order to bring them about.

In the same way as water seeks its level, standards act as a kind of invisible magnet, automatically filtering our attention and directing our actions in their direction. If we are trying too hard to meet our own standards, it’s simply an indication that they’re not yet set – they’re more aspirational than actual.

While this is very much an ongoing exploration, what I’ve seen so far is that our standards set and reset themselves as we grow in awareness and consciousness. In other words, once I truly see the cost of a low standard for well-being, it automatically goes up and in time, my behavior will change accordingly. Whereas once it seemed perfectly normal for me to feel stressed for weeks at a time, my stress tolerance has reduced to the point where I can’t go much more than a few minutes before I’m pulling back to let my thinking settle before moving forward with whatever it is that I’m doing.

That reduced tolerance for stress is a sign of a higher standard for well-being. And since all standards are internal and arbitrary – that is, we make up our standards for ourselves, consciously or unconsciously and independent of any external authority or measure – our standard for well-being as individuals and as a society can continue to rise over time.

Michael Neill, Author of “Supercoach- 10 Secrets to Transform Anyone’s Life.”   Supercoach.com

Coaching Call To Action

I know I need to raise my standard of well-being.  To start, I’m thinking about what that means to me.  Next, I’ll put a plan in place to start (or stop) doing something to start the process.  How about you?  Where in your work or life do you want to raise your standards?  What does that look like for you?  What is the first step you will take to start raising the bar? 

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

This is the second of our two-part series about assumptions. When you assume something, you’re drawing a conclusion without concrete evidence to back it up. In Part One, we explored where assumptions come from and how they limit our success. In today’s post, we’ll take a look at how you can challenge your assumptions and keep them from getting in your way.

Quote of the Week

“If you hear a voice within you saying, “You are not a painter,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

5 Ways To Overcome Your Assumptions

By Andrea Novakowski

Whenever you find yourself saying, “I can’t possibly…”, that’s a good indication you’re making an assumption. Are you truly incapable of doing that thing? Or are you merely imagining all the complications that might interfere with your goal?

Here are five ways to challenge this self-defeating habit.

Go ahead – dare to question your ideas of what you can and can’t do. You may be in for a pleasant surprise. Along the way, you might just discover parts of yourself you didn’t know existed.

Coaching Call To Action

If assumptions are getting in the way of your success, I welcome the opportunity to share The PaperRoom™ with you. The PaperRoom™ is a process that reveals the conscious and unconscious habits that determine your success on a daily basis. Through a unique facilitated coaching process, we’ll look deeply into your behavioral patterns and find those that work and those that don’t. Armed with this powerful data, you will be able to operate at your peak. Call or email if you’d like to learn more.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

This is the first part of a two-part series about assumptions. What’s an assumption? It’s a belief that’s based on incomplete, unexamined, or outdated evidence. Today we’ll take a look at where assumptions come from and how they can limit your success. In part two, we’ll discuss how to challenge your assumptions and stop them from getting in your way.

Quote of the Week

“Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.”

3 Types of Assumptions That Could Be Holding You Back

By Andrea Novakowski

“I can’t possibly do this. It’s too hard.”

“This isn’t worth my time. It’s too easy.”

Do you frequently find yourself making judgments like these? If so, you may be a victim of your assumptions. Imagine if Thomas Edison had said, “Inventing the light bulb is too hard!” Or if Michael Jordan had decided practicing took too much time and had a slim chance of paying off, so why bother.

Our assumptions often come from events that happened long ago, during suggestible or vulnerable periods in our lives. Perhaps you were told as a kid that you couldn’t write or sing or draw. So now, when creative opportunities arise, you automatically tell yourself you can’t do it and don’t even try. A lifelong assumption can easily be based upon a single incident. I got a D on a paper I wrote for my 5th-grade science class. From that one poor grade, I drew the conclusion that I wasn’t good at writing – anything, ever.

This is what I mean by outdated evidence. The person I am today is not the person I was when I had that experience and formed that decision.

Sometimes assumptions are born in our environment. These are the toughest kind of assumptions to recognize, because they’re so powerfully reinforced by our parents, our teachers, our friends, our bosses and our co-workers. For instance, we have a pervasive belief in our culture that we need to be doing something every waking moment. Not just something, but something productive. It’s not acceptable to go for a leisurely walk or enjoy your lunch – no, you must be multitasking. You must talk on the phone with a client while you’re walking. Work at your desk while eating.

In reality, pausing in your workday helps you accomplish more (and it’s good for your mental health, too). When you take a break, it allows your brain to make connections that might not have been possible when you were consciously trying to solve a problem.

A third type of assumption springs from our instinctive dislike of the unfamiliar. When change comes along – and it always does – we treat it with suspicion. We dig in our heels and resist. We’ve set up our lives a certain way, and we don’t like surprises. Change taps into our fear of not being in control. When we’re not in control, everything feels out of control.

Suppose you know you can do the report faster and better than your new employee.  Heck, you’ve done it a hundred times. But if you don’t start delegating, you’re going to get further and further behind in your work. Sure, it feels risky to entrust the report to someone else – but you hired this person to provide support. Why not give the directions and see what happens? You never know: your new employee could add new twists, ideas, and data that enhance the report’s success. Fresh eyes often bring new insights.

What’s so damaging about assumptions is that they tend to be invisible. Our assumptions are the unconscious filters through which we interpret our world. We may be operating from guiding principles that are inaccurate – and not even be aware of it.

That’s not to say that all your assumptions are, by definition, incorrect. But if you don’t take the time to examine them, you’ll never know. And false assumptions could be holding you back from exploring all the possibilities in your life.

This week, whenever you find yourself thinking, “I can’t possibly…” stop for a moment and notice whether it might be an old assumption rearing its head. Next time, we’ll discuss how to challenge your assumptions, so you can move beyond them.

Coaching Call To Action

As you become more aware of the assumptions you are using on a daily basis, make a note of them.  You may have a few or you may have many.  What are you discovering?  Please take a minute to share your findings in the comments section below.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Ever have one of those days when nothing seems to go right? You take one step forward and two steps back?  Even during those times when everything feels out of control, you can choose to be in control of one thing – your attitude.  Read this week’s Tip by Chris Widener with thoughts about choosing your attitude.

Quote of the Week

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

Your Attitude – You Choose!

By Chris Widener

There are lots of things in this life that we don’t get to choose. On the other hand, there are lots of thing in this life that we do get to choose. Our attitude is one of the things that we get to choose. Nobody else lives inside our brain. Nobody else controls what or how we think. It is up to us, moment by moment, to choose what our attitude is. It is up to us to determine how we will look at and perceive the world around us. It is up to us to decide how we will react to our world around us.

My advice? Choose a positive, optimistic attitude! Here are some thought on choosing your attitude.

We cannot choose our circumstances. For the most part, this is true. We cannot control if someone around us gets ill. We cannot control how another person will treat us. We cannot control the global economy. We cannot control the direction our society as a whole will go. For some, this may seem scary. For me, it is freeing. I don’t have to control my circumstances. Running the whole world would be a big responsibility. It is good to know that I am not in charge of, or in control of all of my circumstances. This dose of reality frees you to focus in on what you can control – your attitude.

We can choose our attitudes. That’s right. We get to choose what our attitudes are. Here is the definition of attitude: “The feeling or opinion about something or someone, or a way of behaving that follows from this.” We choose how we feel about others and situations. We choose our opinion about people and situations. We choose the way we will behave in relation to other people and circumstances. We choose it. It doesn’t have to be bad. It doesn’t have to be anything but what we want it to be. We have the option.

The choice of a right attitude will significantly determine new circumstances. Choosing to have the right attitude will change the world around you. This isn’t any sort of magic; it is just how the world works. Now, don’t get me wrong. It won’t cure everything and turn your world into a virtual Shangri-La, but it will significantly improve the world you live in. For example, let’s say that every day you go into work and you gripe about life and work from the moment you get there until the moment you leave. Will others want to be around you? Will others ask your opinion? Will others like you? Will others ask you to join them for lunch? Probably not! But what if you come to work every day and you are the positive optimist of the crowd? Will everybody love you? No, but significantly more people will than if you are the office pessimist! Your choice of attitude will determine what kind of circumstances you get!

Ultimately, it is our choice on what we have as an attitude. Nobody else can force you to have a bad attitude. Nobody else can force you to have a good attitude. It is simply a choice you make.

Where are you with your attitude? Do you have a good one? Why not sit down and give it some serious thought? Then, no matter where you find yourself, decide to take your attitude to the next level! If you have a really bad attitude, decide to take it up a couple of levels!

Your attitude. Your choice. Choose wisely.

Chris Widener is the President of Chris Widener International. www.ChrisWidener.com Chris can be reached at Chris@MadeForSuccess.com

Your Call To Action

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

It dawned on me recently that I’m no longer having conversations with my clients about perfectionism.  This week’s Tip focuses on the current ideals my clients are talking about that lead to business success.

Quote of the Week

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

6 Secrets to Business Success (Plus 1!)

By Andrea Novakowski

Have you noticed that no one talks much about perfectionism anymore?

My business coaching clients used to tell me their compulsion to do everything perfectly was getting in the way of their success. But these days, with the fast pace of life, the constant stream of information, and the increased workload on everyone’s desks, our struggle for perfectionism seems to have largely disappeared. It’s not that people are feeling guilty or making excuses about not being perfect. It’s just gone from the conversation.

As Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg famously puts it:  “Done is better than perfect.”

So if we’re no longer chasing perfection, what should we strive for in its place? Here are six alternative ideals to which my clients are now turning their attention. You can, too.

Persistence. Successful people don’t get that way overnight. Instead, they create a plan and continually chip away at it. They break their goals into annual, monthly, weekly, and daily actions. Even if each day’s activities aren’t completed, these folks get back in the saddle the next day, ready to keep moving forward. What do you do to maintain your persistence?

Pacing. Sam, a hard-charging manager at a small company in New Hampshire, planned on retiring in five years. But when he met with a financial planner, he found out he was going to have to work eight more years in order to meet his goals. Sam realized there was no way he’d last eight years at his breakneck pace. Now we’re discussing how he can adjust his work habits so he can continue at his job enjoyably and healthfully. Do a double-check: does your pace match your goals?

Possibility. We’re all creatures of habit. We eat the same breakfast, take the same route to work, do the same things day in and day out. Today, make a point of trying something new and different. What gets your energy up? What has you thinking new thoughts? Coffee? Brain teasers? Collaboration with your colleagues? Where in your life are you taking time to think about what’s possible?

Play. Successful people take breaks during their day. Even if it’s only for a stretch or a short walk, they stop working for a few minutes and move their bodies. Increased circulation in your body means better blood flow to your brain, which produces clearer thinking. If you tend to sit glued to your desk for hours at a time, think about how you can build play into your day.

Power. We’re all naturally more skilled at certain activities than others. Are you a born communicator? A numbers whiz? As much as possible, do the type of work that plays to your strengths. While no one can (or should) elect to do only what comes easily, you’ll achieve more and go farther if you pursue the things you’re good at.

Positivity. You know the old saying: you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. People are attracted to people who are positive. Put a mirror on your desk so that when you pick up the phone, you’re reminded to smile. It sounds corny, but that attitude really does translate over the phone.

Need one more goal to replace perfectionism? How about pleasure? Think about what part of your job you really enjoy, and try to spend more time doing it. When your work aligns with your interests and values, it makes you feel good. And there’s no better definition of success than truly loving what you do.

Your Call To Action

Looking at the goals you have created for 2013,  what ideals from the above list do you want to focus on to increase the likelihood of successfully completing your goals? Please take a minute to share your findings in the comments section below.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

What if you could access your courage at any time?  This week’s Tip by Angie Morgan and Courtney Lynch provides ideas to help you find your courage.

Quote of the Week

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”

Everyday Courage – How to Find It in an Instant

By Angie Morgan and Courtney Lynch

Somewhere – right now – someone is thinking one of the following:

How am I going to meet this sales number?

I need to address this issue, but I have no idea how to bring it up.

I have to change some work habits, but it’s going to be difficult to start a new routine.

This project isn’t going to complete itself – where will I find the time to get it done?

Courage is our ability to face our fears, concerns and worries.  There are moments in each of our lives when we need a healthy dose of everyday courage to address a goal or overcome an issue. The next time you feel overwhelmed by unproductive emotions, try these tips to help you find the courage you need to take action:

• Be honest with how you feel, especially when it is fear.  Courageous people certainly feel fear, but they aren’t paralyzed by it.
• Hold yourself accountable to your feelings.  Don’t shrug off your concerns and live in denial.
• Take action.  Small steps, over time, produce profound results.

We all need courage to lead the life that is consistent with our goals.

This article was provided courtesy of Lead Star – a premiere leadership development firm. You can learn more about leadership by visiting their website at www.leadstar.us

Coaching Call To Action

Where are you feeling stuck or overwhelmed in your work?  Take a minute to sit back in your chair, close your eyes and take a deep, cleansing breath.  Then, follow the steps above – acknowledge your feelings and identify 3 small steps you could take to move your project and yourself forward.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

In addition to celebrating their successes, each time I talk to my coaching clients, we look at potential obstacles that could be holding them back from reaching their goals. This week’s Tip highlights frequent stumbling blocks along with recommendations to overcome them.

Quote of the Week

“It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities.”

4 Things That Can Get in the Way of Your Professional Success

By Andrea Novakowski

Do you ever feel like something is keeping you from moving ahead in your business, but you can’t pinpoint exactly what it is? As I look back at conversations I’ve had with clients over the years, I see four common obstacles that tend to hold people back. Do any of these ring true for you?

1. You don’t move from theory to action. It may feel like you have to know it all before you can make your plans happen. I’m a mentor coach, someone who helps people start coaching businesses of their own. I’ve noticed that the people who make it in this business are the ones who jump right in while they’re still in the middle of their coursework. They don’t wait until they’re experts. They recognize that in order to become an expert, they need to start working. That way they can bring their experiences back to the classroom for feedback. You, too, will gain insight as you go along – so don’t put it off.
2. You do everything at the last minute. Sam was the kind of leader who created the agenda in his head as he walked into the meeting. As president of his company, he had a full plate and many business goals, and he’d surrounded himself with smart, competent people whom he liked to bring together for frequent discussions. But his crack team was constantly frustrated because Sam would call meetings on the spur of the moment without giving anyone time to prepare. As Sam’s coach, I helped show him how his team could be an even better resource to him if he gave them an agenda.
3. You react instead of responding. Carl is a night owl who likes to stay late in the office after everyone goes home – he does his best work during the quiet hours. But lately, Carl’s manager, Sally, has started poking her head into Carl’s office before she heads home. Then she sits down and starts talking, sometimes about work, sometimes not. She might stay for 10 minutes. She might stay for an hour. Arrgh! Needless to say, Carl is starting to get upset. What used to be his time isn’t any longer. I helped Carl by pointing out that he had options when Sally showed up for her nightly conversations. Instead of feeling like a hostage, he started using the talks as opportunities for one-on-one time with his manager. He became privy to information he didn’t have access to previously.
4. You blame everyone else. Lee’s projects kept getting delayed through no fault of her own. Meanwhile, at home, her kids were acting up and making her crazy. It seemed as though no one was pulling their weight but her. Lee had reached the point where she couldn’t see any way out of her situation except to quit her job and start all over again. Luckily, before that happened, I was able to sit down with her and examine what part she might have been playing in the project delays. We discussed ways for her to start building relationships and to overcome the feeling the deck was stacked against her. As things improved at her job, life at home got easier, too. Her family had been responding to the negative attitude she was bringing home. (Don’t you love how your kids pick up so easily on your feelings?)

We all spend a lot of time in our heads, analyzing our situations, traveling the same paths over and over. We make our stories so powerful that we can’t see the situation any other way.

If you’re feeling stuck, consider having a conversation with a coach, mentor, or trusted advisor. She may be able to offer new insights, expand your awareness, and help you overcome obstacles getting in the way of your success.

Coaching Call To Action

Where are you not making progress on your goals?  Take some time this week to share what’s happening with a trusted person.  Ask for their perspective on the situation (that is different than yours) and suggestions for moving forward.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

What’s your role in how complex your business circumstances are?  In this week’s Tip, Simon Tyler shares how reality often overwhelms you and dictates the way you operate and the reactions and responses you have.  Fortunately, you have the ability to cause it to be different!

Quote of the Week

“Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”

Can You Make Things Easier?

By Simon Tyler

Business is tough. Finding and securing new clients or sales or agreements is more difficult today than previously. There is more to consider, more to absorb, wider implications of everything in which we are involved. You may even not allow yourself to be happy unless your situations are difficult.

Life is complicated.

Your current reality is packed full of evidence that this is the case. And to think and act differently is naive and delusional, isn’t it?

The thing with reality, is, quite obviously, it is real, right now.

But here is my challenge with this simple note. Reality is not in fact NOW. It is the accumulated stuff that occurred or existed right up to the moment before this one. From here you can decide what your reaction is to that ‘reality’ and indeed what your next reality could be. Yes, against the seemingly unstoppable force of your ‘current’ circumstance.

A common habit I have noticed in clients and client companies is the learned and ingrained expectation that things are difficult; anything easier than difficult must be wrong, not thorough enough or lucky.

This simply perpetuates your complexity.

There is one simple step for you to take for things to become easier than they are for you now:

Expect them to be easier.

The resistance you experience to this challenge instantly highlights the barriers currently in place preventing you from allowing it to become true (and, by the way, there is immense personal development value in identifying them, challenging them and releasing them).

Your everyday experience could be easier than you are currently urging it to be.

Go on, defy your current reality (keeping it simple is my recommendation!).

Simon Tyler is one of the world’s leading business coaches. His work simplifies the lives of business leaders and owners. He is an incisive consultant, inspirational writer, provocative public speaker and master facilitator. To learn more about Simon, visit http://simontyler.com.

Coaching Call To Action

Where are you making your work more difficult than it needs to be?

In the comments section below, I invite you to share your experience: What project, conversation, or report could be easier if you expected it to be easier?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Are you a “confidence” player?  There is a huge difference in how you show up and perform when you are confident vs. not confident.  This week’s Tip by Simon Tyler provides some steps to make a positive shift to confidence.

Quote of the Week

“The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others.”

The Simple Way to Boost Your Confidence

By Simon Tyler

Many sports stars use the expression “confidence player” to describe how their performance and brilliance is significantly greater when they feel confident. This week I spent some time with a former coaching client who said that they had lost all their confidence.

This struck me and drove me to look again at the distinction.

When confident you are more likely to:

• Succeed at what you do
• Stand taller
• Take higher risks
• Expect and act as if things will work out well
• Think more freely and positively
• Be resilient to problems, conflicts and difficulties
• Make better time decisions (choosing important non-urgent life and goal enhancing things)

All these enhance and embed the state of confidence.

When your confidence is low (or absent) you are more likely to:

• Doubt yourself
• Slump and hunch (whether seated or standing)
• Procrastinate
• Expect and plan for the worst
• Make mistakes
• Take no risk
• Negative thinking prevails, tough to ‘think your way out’
• Have low resilience, be easily knocked down
• Make poor time choices (e.g. staying on the same thing too long)

All these enhance and embed the state of low or no confidence!

So, when you are confident you act in ways that keep you confident, and when you are not confident you act in ways that keep you there, too. You have control on both, albeit, up until this Simple Note, unconsciously!

When you are in a confident state it is unlikely you will notice any drift away from confident until it is extremely obvious, i.e. some of the second list of symptoms are present. Rather like a tiny leak in a dam, irrelevant until the whole wall crumbles and the water rushes in!

I will write about this more in the future, but the simplest of Simple Notes on that for now is… stop and review your confidence level often and take corrective or protective action immediately.

It is the low state of confidence to which this Simple Note is pointed. To shift from low to high takes deliberate, conscious and inspired action, inspiration for which is often out of reach when you are actually in that state. And just waiting for some miraculous external event to make your confidence come back is futile.

Here are 3 important areas within which, immediate and decisive attention will deliver a confidence uplift:

• People – list the people who are PLUS (you feel better, happier, focused and certain when you interact with them); NEUTRAL and NEGATIVE (they leave you feeling drained). Reduce face to face time with the NEGs to zero, increase time with the PLUSES every day.
• Physical – check and upgrade the quality of your food and fluid intake (reduce intoxicants, increase vitamin and water rich foods). Consider and act on the physical activity that works for you (get moving), avoid static tasks and static spans of time.
• Media – cease consuming mainstream media (tv, radio, paper and Internet) just take in what you need for your vocation or your passion. Replace the reading time you would have used with inspirational content, articles, books, or even writing your own journal.

Just three steps, that work, every time.

Right now you may not be in your low ebb state, so print this off and place it behind a ‘break glass in emergency’ case.

And always keep it simple.

Simon Tyler is one of the world’s leading business coaches. His work simplifies the lives of business leaders and owners. He is an incisive consultant, inspirational writer, provocative public speaker and master facilitator. To learn more about Simon, visit http://simontyler.com.

Coaching Call To Action

This week assess how you are showing up.  Is your confidence high or low?  If low, an easy place to start is to adjust your posture and how you move your body.   Feel any difference?  To hear more on this topic check out “Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are.”

What’s New?

October 29, 2012
Coach Andrea’s Thought for the Day Hits the 2,000 Mark!

On Monday of this week, I sent out my 2000th Thought for the Day.

- Kevin Smith

Some of you have been receiving my Thought for the Day for 7 years!  Thank you!   Want to join in and start your day with an inspirational quote?  Sign up here to begin your day in a positive way.

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