Coach Andrea

Coach Andrea’s Intro

This week’s Tip by Steve Straus, on considering the impact I am having, resonated for me.  Sometimes I forget or lose touch with this knowledge.  And then, I am reminded – a prior client calls to say thank you.  Even though we are no longer working together, he feels my presence and support and continues using the tools we created together.  Or, I close my eyes and breathe and remember I chose the work I do for a reason and get back in touch with that feeling and knowing.  Do you know the impact you are having?

Quote of the Week

“Caring about others, running the risk of feeling, and leaving an impact on people, brings happiness.”

What Impact Am I Having?

By Steve Straus

Do you occasionally have a ‘down’ morning or evening, wondering if you’re having any impact at all? I sure do. (That’s wondering about having a ‘positive’ impact. I always know when I’m having a negative one!)

The first thing I do when in this questioning mood is to catch it, feel it, notice what’s going on with me. Only through awareness is it possible to begin to change it. Staying in self-doubt is not an option.

Usually what’s going on is that I’ve been looking for validation from the outside … and not getting it. I’ve become attached to receiving some positive feedback and it’s absence triggers the doubt of my impact.

Early in my Coaching career I kept an atta-boy file into which I placed every bit of positive feedback I had received — letters, notes, calls, emails. On a down day I would pick up this file and read it until I felt better. About five minutes would usually do it.

Alternatively, a walk around the block on a pretty day would snap me out of it.

Now, all I require is to catch the doubt.

I know who I am and what I’m here to do.

I don’t need external validation.

Copyright 2012 Steve Straus. All rights reserved. Steve Straus can be contacted at http://www.StrausUSA.com.

Coaching Call To Action

What do you use to interrupt a feeling of self- doubt, of wondering if you are having an impact?

How do you know you are having an impact?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

In last week’s Tip, I talked about the impact of a simple heartfelt salutation.  This week’s Tip continues the theme of communication with the time saving tactic of being concise.

Quote of the Week

“Vigorous writing is concise.”

Be Concise

By Dr. Donald E. Wetmore

Concision. (Sounds like I made up another word.) It’s the idea of being concise in our ongoing communication with others, both written and oral.

Many take forever to say so little. These are the same people who spend a lot of time in meetings. Some who may have little to say use lots of words to say what could be said in a few words. It is boring. It wastes time. It reduces productivity. Theirs and yours.

I do not suggest that all of our communications ought to be reduced to one or two words. There ought to be time in the workplace for idle chat.

It leads to relationship building and a better quality of life. However, it is sometimes more productive to simply say “blah” rather than “blah, blah, blah”.

As a practical matter, it is becoming more and more important to be concise as we drown in this era of information overload. We get more information impressions in one day than our great-grandparents 100 years ago got in a lifetime. Think about it. 100 years ago, you may have looked at a seed catalog, a shared newspaper, and an occasional book, if you owned one. Today, we have information coming at us from all directions.

The average working businessperson receives, on average, 150 new communications each day via telephone, voicemail, mail, fax, and email.

When email became available a few years ago, it was supposed to take the place of a lot of other communications, including first class mail. The truth is, all other forms of communication have held their volume (or even increased) and we now have email to deal with on top of it all.

Want to be more concise in your communications and save time? Here are two suggestions.

1.  Think before you communicate. Before you make that call or meet with someone, think out what you hope to accomplish. A lot of extended, unnecessary communication is in search of a purpose of the communication in the first place. When you know what you are trying to accomplish, when you achieve it, it is over and you can move on.

2.  Practice. When you write an email to someone, look it over before you send it. See if you can say what you need to say in fewer words. I use this technique in a communications class I teach for MBA students. I ask them to write a five-page paper. They submit it, I return it, and ask they re-write the paper in four pages, but cover all the essential points from the five page paper. They later re-write the same paper as a three, two, and one page paper. Each must contain all that was covered in the original five-page work. It’s a tough assignment but with practice, they get better at saying more with fewer words. You can too. If you write something, re-write it several times, each time making it shorter than the previous attempt. The more you practice, the better you’ll get.

Copyright (c) 2012 all rights reserved.  Don Wetmore can be reached at http://www.balancetime.com

Coaching Call To Action

I once took a workshop with renowned story teller Jay O’Callahan.  He shared the way he honed his stories, choosing the exact word to convey the picture he wanted listeners to see and feel.  This week in your communications, think about the result you want.  Hone your message to get there.

What’s New?

Monday, September 24, 2012
New Service – Additional Articles on Weekly Tip Topic

Starting Monday, September 24th, I’ll be sharing related articles on the prior week’s coaching Tip topic on Facebook and Twitter.  They will appear on the four business days (Monday through Thursday)  after the Tip.  Follow me on Facebook and Twitter so you don’t miss out!  Click the icons on the left sidebar near the top of this page.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

It can be difficult to maintain your cool in the middle of a confrontational conversation. This week’s Tip by Angie Morgan and Courtney Lynch reminds us of the benefit of putting your best manners forward.

Quote of the Week

“Nothing is less important than which fork you use. Etiquette is the science of living. It embraces everything. It is ethics. It is honor.”

Please Be Kind

By Angie Morgan and Courtney Lynch

There are many experiences that we, as professionals, share with others:

- We all are busy
- We all have priorities
- We all have deadlines to meet
- We all have people who depend upon us

As we move about our business, please keep this in mind: Be kind to others, no matter who they are, what they do, or how they act.

It is very easy to match rudeness with rudeness, or anger with anger.  These negative emotions can rule our worlds because they are very easy to latch onto when our stress is high and our to-do list is long.

When you feel frustrated, annoyed, or anxious challenge yourself to put your best manners forward and rise above the drama du jour so you can be kind and gracious. Remember that nothing defuses negativity quicker than courtesy and respect.

Today, focus your energy on simple acts of kindness.  We promise that a little of this will go a very long way.

This article was provided courtesy of Lead Star – a premiere leadership development firm. You can learn more about leadership by visiting their website at www.leadstar.us

Coaching Call To Action

Summer is over and work is back in full swing.  As you look for opportunities to show kindness to those around you, think about incorporating daily kindness into your overall leadership style.  What would that look like for you?

What’s New?

Thursday, September 20, 2012 – 9 am to noon EDT
Pounce on a Project II

Welcome back from the summer break! I hope you all took some time to recharge. What project would you like to get on top of and accomplish this month? Come to Pounce on a Project II – - 2012.

Join me on Thursday, September 20th, from 9:00 a.m. to noon Eastern. We will join as a group by phone and declare what you want to accomplish: preparing a marketing plan for Q4, starting the talk you have to give in two weeks, getting your website finished, or getting rid of the piles of completed projects that grew over the summer.

During the morning, the group will gather by phone a few times to check progress and get any support needed to finish with a bang. At noon, the group will celebrate their accomplishments. Who says projects have to be boring and tedious? Bring your lightness and fun and join us for the energization.

To sign up or learn more, call or e-mail me by noon on Wednesday, September 19th. Feel free to share this with friends and co-workers, the more the merrier. (Cost of the program is only the cost of long distance phone calls.)

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Assumptions can get you into trouble. Remember that time you asked the woman when she was due and she wasn’t pregnant?  This week’s Tip by Steve Straus brings awareness to why you may be misusing assumptions in your own life.

Quote of the Week

“The harder you fight to hold on to specific assumptions, the more likely there’s gold in letting go of them.”

~ John Seely Brown

Assume Is Not A Strategy

By Steve Straus

More problems are caused by assumptions than perhaps any other single source. Yet, many people make most of their decisions based on assumptions rather than checking out what’s real. There are several reasons for this.

First, it’s easy. You’re ready for a decision right now, no efforting required.

Second, it lets you feel really smart, or at least appear to be. Sometimes we feel the need to be the “smart one” in the room.

Third, by assuming, you don’t have to look at what’s real, which may be what you don’t want to see.

Fourth, well, the list of reasons to assume is endless. The question is, what is a better strategy?

Try asking questions instead of telling what you assume. Try listening instead of talking. Try waiting for clarity instead of having a shoot-from-the-hip “answer.”

Before you repeat something you read on the Internet or had a friend tell you came from the neighbor of their cousin’s sister’s husband, do a little research. Check out the facts. Apply a little logic. Ask “does this seem reasonable?”

Look at your personal history and see if you’ve made some incorrect assumptions which cost you.

There is really no reason to base the success of your life on assumptions. It’s a flawed strategy.

Copyright 2012 Steve Straus. All rights reserved. Steve Straus can be contacted at http://www.StrausUSA.com.

Coaching Call To Action

Do you remember how you feel when you sense that what someone is telling you as fact is really just their assumption? Do you want others to feel that when you speak? What new strategy will you try this week?

What’s New?

Thank you for celebrating my induction into the ICF-NE Hall of Fame

Thank you for all of your kind notes and calls about my induction into the ICF-NE Hall of Fame on Monday night.  To see photos of the event, click here.  For those of you who were able to attend the gala, I appreciate your support.  Remember, if I can receive this honor by being me, you can, too, by being you.

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Want to be more productive? In this week’s Tip, a new contributor, Natalie M. Houston, shares a great idea on how to protect your focus and attention during your “always on” day.

Quote of the Week

“The ability to focus attention on important things is a defining characteristic of intelligence.”

~ Robert J. Shiller

Are you Leaving the Door Open?

By Natalie M. Houston

Would you leave the front door of your home wide open all day? Would you allow strangers, colleagues, and friends to walk in that open door at any time, and start asking you for directions, assistance, a snack, or a hug? Would you welcome the squirrels, racoons, and stray cats that might stroll in the door? What about the raindrops, dead leaves, or litter that drift in?

If your answer is no (or even a more strongly-worded negation), then I have another important question for you:

Are you leaving the door of your focus and attention wide open all day?

Each time you check email, each time you respond to your phone’s buzz or flashing light that announces the arrival of a new text, each time you jump to read your direct messages on Twitter, you’re opening the door of your attention. No matter what else you were doing, if someone suddenly walked into your home and asked for your assistance, you would probably respond right away, by either helping, redirecting, or rebuffing them.

Just as you protect your family and your belongings by choosing when to open the door of your home and when to leave it shut, you can choose to protect your focus and attention by choosing when to open yourself up to other people’s demands.

Every time you read your email, you’re putting someone else’s priorities before your own. Even if you don’t immediately respond or act on their request, you’re giving their message your attention. Sometimes, of course, that’s exactly what you want to do: we all need to engage with other people, to respond to their requests, and to communicate our ideas and decisions. But you can choose when to do this.

Decide Now When You’ll Check Your Messages Tomorrow

One way to maximize your focus and attention is to define a few set times during your day when you will read and process your incoming emails and messages. Put these blocks of time on your calendar like you would any other appointment. During those set times, bring your full attention to reading and responding to other people. At all other times, bring your full attention to your own priority work or relaxation.

If you’re accustomed to leaving your email open on your computer all day, or picking up your phone whenever it buzzes, it will feel awkward to retrain yourself into a new habit. As a good starting point, try checking your messages for just 20 minutes every two hours. Try it for a full three days before adjusting the length or frequency of your message sessions.

When you get the urge to check your email or messages and it’s not your predefined time, ask yourself:

In wanting to check email right now, what am I pulled towards?
In wanting to check email right now, what am I avoiding?

Just pay attention to what comes up for you in the process. You may decide that given your professional obligations and personal temperament, checking email all the time is what you choose to do. Or you may discover that checking email only a few times per day frees up energy and attention that you can direct towards other things. Either way, just make sure you’re making a conscious choice and not just leaving the door open out of habit.

Natalie M. Houston is a personal productivity coach who works with academics, writers, and entrepreneurs who want to stop procrastinating, gain more control over their time, and move forward on the projects and goals that matter most to them. To find out more, visit: http://nmhouston.com

Coaching Call To Action

What is your habit on email checking today? Minute by minute? Hourly? Twice a day?  Does this strategy increase your focus and attention or decrease it? Will you try a different strategy next week per Natalie’s suggestion to improve your focus?  Who do you need to share your new strategy with to keep to your commitment to yourself?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Is there value in promoting conflict? Encouraging differing opinions, yes.  Conflict, no.  If you are noticing conflict is becoming more prevalent in your company, consider David Cottrell’s tips on how to minimize the potential conflagration of conflict.

Quote of the Week

“Conflict is going to happen whether you want it or not. People will be butt heads. Sometimes when you least expect it.”

~ Jimmy Bise Jr.

Ways to Prevent a Conflict from Escalating

By David Cottrell

1. Get all the facts and clearly identify the problem.
2. Encourage people to challenge the status quo often so that alternatives are continually being evaluated.
3. When others explain their intention and viewpoints, summarize and paraphrase to confirm understanding.
4. Look for common ground in any difficult situation.
5. When possible, resolve one issue at a time.
6. Deal with the molehills before they become mountains!
7. Only send and respond to e-mails that are informational in nature. If there is any hint of disagreement, meet in person or pick up the phone.
8. Watch and listen for inconsistencies between people’s words and their nonverbal behaviors and encourage them to voice their concerns (Cottrell, p. 80).

From:  Cottrell, D. (2009).  Monday morning motivation: five steps to energize your team, customers, and profits.  New York: HarperCollins Publishers.

Reprinted with permission from the OSU Leadership Center, Ohio State University, Columbus, OH 43210, (614) 292-3114, http://leadershipcenter.osu.edu/

Coaching Call To Action

Are you a conflict inciter or smoother?  What is the value of your position to yourself and those around you?  What would add even more value?  Who in your company will you share your thoughts with this week?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Adrenaline is robbing us of our health. If you run on adrenaline, please consider other ways to get energized.  In this week’s Tip, Steve Straus provides healthy alternatives to adrenaline.

Quote of the Week

“This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men.”

~ Captain J. A. Hadfield

Beyond Adrenaline

By Steve Straus

Adrenaline has its benefits. And its costs.

Great outcomes have been accomplished using the adrenaline tool. It is one of the most popular drugs-of-choice for driven achievers. A source of ready energy, it provides focus, is cheap to acquire, and easy to use. Also, you don’t need to do deals in dark back alleys, you’re your own drug dealer!

Need some? Leave late for an important meeting.

Need more? Under-prepare for that meeting.

A little more? Fear not getting what you want.

Your ability to create the adrenaline you need, when you need it, is huge. But at what cost?

Like any stimulant, the use of adrenaline requires a balancing of the scales. Your physical system experiences a crash and needs recovery time.

The focusing which adrenaline can provide may act as blinders and cause you to miss available resources. And someone hyped-up on adrenaline attracts similar people. Adrenaline is expensive.

Rather than suggest that you simply give up adrenaline, how about replacing it with healthier forms of energy? Such as passion. Such as clarity of purpose. Look for the joy in situations rather than possible negative consequences.

An often overlooked resource is to pause and revel in your intermediate wins. Adrenaline junkies tend to focus only on the big payoff at the end, but there is plenty of healthy energy available from the incremental victories along the way.

Copyright 2012 Steve Straus. All rights reserved. Steve Straus can be contacted at http://www.StrausUSA.com.

Coaching Call To Action

Who can help you remove the adrenaline needle and move beyond it, permanently?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

I particularly enjoyed this week’s Tip by Angie Morgan and Courtney Lynch due to its honesty – some days you just don’t feel like a leader.  They provide their recommendations for “damage control” on those days.

Quote of the Week

“Focus on remedies, not faults.”

~ Jack Nicklaus

Not in the Leadership Mood? Here’s what to do.

By Angie Morgan and Courtney Lynch

While everyone loves leadership concepts and practices, it’s fair to say that there are days when you wake up and you’re not “feeling it.” You know those days … those days when it’s going to be pretty tricky to influence outcomes and inspire others because your attitude, frankly, stinks.

If there’s one thing we know about humans it’s that we are inconsistent.  However, don’t let one bad day damage the leadership reputation you are working so hard to develop.  Here’s what you need to do:

• Don’t deny it – call it what it is. Be accountable to how you feel and why you feel that way.  A bad attitude is a pink flag that is getting redder by the minute.  Really try to figure out what the heck is going on and how you can solve it.
• Minimize your impact on others. Don’t walk around the office with your head down, telling everyone that “it’s just one of those days.”  On the flip side, don’t feel that you can counteract your mood by insincerely spraying sunshine and false enthusiasm everywhere.
• Focus on what you can control. When you are down and low, it is easy to hurl blame on external circumstances and people.  Blame doesn’t solve problems.  Your accountability solves problems.  When you figure out what you can control, you put yourself in the position of ownership … a few steps closer to attitude adjustment.
• Hit the reset button. Go home and before you go to bed identify a few things that you can do differently the next day to do better and be better.  Action is always a great anecdote for a poor attitude.

This article was provided courtesy of Lead Star – a premiere leadership development firm. You can learn more about leadership by visiting their website at www.leadstar.us

Coaching Call To Action

Firstly, may you not need this Tip.  Secondly, for insurance purposes, you may want to prepare for a day when your leadership mood is slipping.  What will your actions be on the day you’re not feeling like the leader you are?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

Is someone at work pushing your buttons?  Does this lead you to frustration and anger?  This week’s Tip describes a simple process to follow that changes your reaction and the outcome.

Quote of the Week

“The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes–ah, that is where the art resides!”

~ Arthur Schnabel

Business Coaching and the Power of the Pause

By Andrea Novakowski

Cara was a manager at a Providence, RI consulting firm who could always be counted on to get the job done. She had a hard-driving style that got results, and her boss recognized how valuable she was to the company. Then one day Cara walked in and discovered she had a new manager, one who didn’t appreciate her take-no-prisoners approach.

Suddenly, what was once applauded was now being penalized.

No matter where she turned, she found herself in continual conflict with her new boss. Every meeting ended in a heated discussion. Every day was an exercise in frustration. Cara called me to help her decide if it was time to leave the company.

We used the PaperRoom System to determine that Cara was getting more than 80 percent of her needs met at her current job. Obviously, quitting wasn’t the solution. She had to figure out a way to work with her new manager.

Communication with your boss can be a challenging thing, especially when your styles clash. Cara and I tackled the problem by using a simple diagram from the book 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done by business coach and consultant Peter Bregman.

According to Bregman, here’s how most conflict plays out:

Event => Reaction => Outcome

Someone says or does something that pushes your buttons (event). You respond with anger or frustration (reaction). This leads to an undesirable outcome. For Cara, it was wasted time and energy, not to mention the stress of arguing with her supervisor.
I showed Cara how to recognize this dynamic and change it to yield more productive results:

Event => Outcome => Reaction

First, Cara determined which part of her boss’s behavior triggered her negative reaction.  Next, she paused and envisioned the outcome she wanted: not a battle with her boss, but more appreciation for her contribution to the company and more responsibility. She saw her typical reaction wasn’t producing this result. So she changed her reaction.

As you might expect, that part can be tricky. How do you pause in the heat of the moment, rather than responding automatically to provocation? Cara determined three actions that worked for her:

• Calm down by counting to 10 in her head.
• Agree with what her manager is saying in the moment, then circle back for a more complete conversation when he is calmer.
• Observe how other people manage her boss when he gets worked up.

Over the next two months Cara practiced her new strategies. She became more aware of her manager’s behavior and trained herself to respond differently. She and her boss started having more productive meetings. In our last phone call, Cara was thrilled to report she’d been invited by her manager to work with him on a special project!

Do you have a manager, co-worker, or employee who rubs you the wrong way? If your conflict with this person doesn’t produce the outcome you want, it may be time to visualize the outcome you do want — and then change your reaction to make it happen.

Coaching Call To Action

This week plan for the potentially contentious interactions on your calendar. You know which ones I mean.  What is the outcome that you want?  What will you do differently to get that outcome?

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Coach Andrea’s Intro

When you delegate a job to one of your staff, why don’t you get back what you asked for?  One way to get closer at hitting 100% on your requests is to be clear in your communication.  Natalie Manor’s Tip this week is a great reminder about creating that clarity.

Quote of the Week

“The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate.”

~ Joseph Priestley

Are You Creating Clarity?

By Natalie Manor

This is crucial to building a confident communication habit.  Make sure that you are clear each and every time you speak and/or write and that the other(s) in communication with you understands the usage of your words. In England, a boot is the trunk of a car.  In New Jersey, a hoagie sandwich is a submarine sandwich. In New England, a frappe is a milk shake.

Find out if people understand what you mean, especially when it involves critical communication such as projects, sales, negotiations, and performance requirements. People will trust and respect you for creating clear communication.

Natalie R. Manor, CEO is an author, business consultant, speaker and executive coach. Her company, Natalie Manor & Associates, is the ultimate resource for business leaders, executives, owners and managers who want to master their life and their business by Getting Clear, Getting Confident and Being Effective faster than ever before. You can register for her free bi-weekly articles at: http://www.nataliemanor.com/

Coaching Call To Action

When you are communicating with others this week, look to be especially clear.  What is one thing you will do that will add clarity?

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