Andrea Novakowski's Coaching Tip of the Week
Andrea Novakowski's Coaching Tip of the Week )
  October 1, 2004 
Contents In This Issue
    What Do You "Need" to be Successful?
    by Phyllis Sisenwine

  • Brought to you by Andrea Novakowski, Master Certified Coach, Business and Personal Coaching for Corporations, Businesses and Individuals


    "Understanding human needs is half the job of meeting them."

    -- Adlai E. Stevenson Jr. (1900 - 1965), speech, October 3, 1952

    What Do You "Need" to be Successful?
    by Phyllis Sisenwine

    Needs are like food and water -- basic conditions that must be met for us to be happy and successful.

    Have you ever stopped to think about what your needs are? Most of us never really think about it, but everyone has needs. Needs are as basic as food and water. If the need is not being met and we are hungry or thirsty we get irritable. We also have emotional needs that must be met in order for us to be successful. When your needs are not being met, you will probably feel resentful, unappreciated or angry. And unmet needs hold you back from success! For example, if you need to be appreciated, but are not getting the thanks you require, you will feel resentful and it will affect your work. By realizing you need appreciation, you can develop a system to get that need met.


    The first step to getting your needs met is to identify them. Look at the following list of needs and see which ones jump out at you. To be accepted, included, respected, appreciated, complimented, understood, heard, informed, acknowledged, flattered, esteemed or to be in control.

    If you are having trouble identifying your personal needs from the previous list, here is another way to approach it. Think about the time when you have been less than your best. Perhaps you did a favor for someone and they didn't thank you or show appreciation and it really bugged you. What is your unmet need? To be appreciated. If you can identify your top four needs you can set up a system to meet them.


    Once you have identified your needs, you will want to design a way to get them met. Your business coach, friend or spouse will help you with this system, which involves setting boundaries, raising your standards and asking for help.

    Ask three to five people who care about you to help you get your needs met. I had a need to be appreciated. If I went out of my way for someone and they didn't show any appreciation it really bothered me. If I did a favor for a family member and they said "thanks" I found I wanted more than that or I felt unappreciated. Being appreciated was my key need. I asked five people who care about me if they would be willing to help me to get my needs met. They were happy to support me. I asked for a note, voicemail or email message telling me that they appreciate me. I asked if they were willing to do this once a week for 4 to 6 weeks. The cards and messages came in and it was great. I'm not saying the need is completely gone but it doesn't drive me like it used to.

    If you have a manager who calls a meeting, but is always starting late he might have the need to control. To get his need met he keeps everyone waiting and starts the meeting late. He then runs late and inconveniences everyone. If he could recognize that he has the need to control he could also set up a way to get it met (and if he doesn't you can put this article in his mail slot). One who needs control often has difficulty delegating. It could be helpful if they start by setting up a system of delegating with guidelines for frequent feedback.

    A salesperson that needs to win might antagonize the other salespeople by being very competitive. The manager, however, might see him as not being a team player. If that salesperson could get his need to win met by playing in a tennis league or playing poker regularly it would serve him better. For his manager, team buidling exercises would be helpful. Perhaps that salesman could be the team leader in a new sales effort.

    The important thing is not to expect others to know what you need. Whether at work or at home, when it's appropriate, verbalize what you want. A spouse or coworker might not realize how much you need to be acknowledged, respected, etc. Be specific. Also, don't feel that if you have to ask for it, it doesn't count. That's not true. Asking to have your needs met does not make it less effective. Don't hesitate to ask for what makes you happy.

    Remember, needs are like food and water. They are basic conditions that must be met for us to be happy and successful.

    Copyright 2004, All Rights Reserved.
    Phyllis Sisenwine, Master Certified Coach, can be reached at


    There are over 100 needs that have been identified in the "coaching world" that fall into 20 categories. I work with clients using the "NeedLess Program". Call this week at 508-231-0766 and ask me about it so that you are clear on your needs and how to get them met.


    October 2, 2004
    Rodman Ride for Kids, Tomorrow's the day!

    For the past 9 years, I have ridden 50 miles on a bicycle for the Rodman Ride for Kids which benefits children at risk in Massachusetts. (I took the first ride of the season on Labor Day to begin the training.) This year, I have committed my fundraising efforts to benefit all of the agencies because they all do good work.

    E-mail me if you would like to make a donation, to participate, or to receive a brochure on the event. You can also donate and get more information at


    This Coaching Tip of the Week is brought to you by Andrea Novakowski, Master Certified Coach who provides Business and Personal Coaching to Corporations, Businesses, and Individuals. Andrea is a professional coach who partners with people to set goals and create momentum to produce effective results in their business and/or personal lives.

    Andrea is available for individual coaching. If you are serious about reaching your goals and living with greater fulfillment and satisfaction, consider using a coach. To schedule a COMPLIMENTARY initial consultation, send an e-mail to Andrea at


    Please feel free to pass on the Coaching Tip of the Week to your friends and colleagues. To subscribe, click the "Subscribe" button below. You may also subscribe at

    We never send unsolicited e-mail. If you have received this message and you did not subscribe yourself or you wish to unsubscribe your e-mail address from the list, please click the link below. You may also unsubscribe at

    If you need to get in contact with us directly (if you have trouble subscribing/unsubscribing, or have questions about the list itself), send an e-mail to

    Copyright 2004. When you forward Andrea Novakowski's "Coaching Tip of the Week" to your friends and colleagues, please keep the copyright and contact information intact.

    Quick Links...

  • Subscribe to Coaching Tip

  • Last Week's Coaching Tip
  • More About Us

  •      email:


            Tip of the Week
            Tip Archive 2008
            Tip Archive 2007
            Tip Archive 2006
            Tip Archive 2005
            Tip Archive 2004
            Tip Archive 2003
            Tip Archive 2002/2001
    October 1, 2004
    Contact AndreaE-mail Andrea

    © 2000 Andrea Novakowski. All Rights Reserved  | designed by The Complete Website


    Sign up to receive a free weekly tip from Coach Andrea. These tips provide thought provoking and inspirational ideas on business and life issues. We will also let you know what's new at